My three goals

I'm still here... as in I'm still tracking (33+ days on MyFitnessPal), still attending Weight Watchers every week, and still doing some sort activity daily.  I'm feeling good for the most part (lots of soreness, aches and pains from being active), less emotional at work and at home, and I'm more productive at home.  So it's all good!

My activity is increasing, slower than I would like, but it is improving.  I can now jog 2.25 miles with minimal walk breaks, I go for at least a 15 minute walk every day, and I stretch for 12 to 18 minutes nearly every day.


I have had to change my activity plans quite a bit over the last couple weeks, so that it was a more realistic plan.  One that pushes me, but takes in to consideration that I am not quite as fit as I would like to be.  Let's face it, I weigh 208.4 pounds, which means there are things I can't do or shouldn't be doing at this weight.  I have spent a lot of time listening to my body and figuring out what I can and can't do, how hard I should push myself and when I need to back off and give myself a rest.


My original plan was to run three days a week.  I quickly came to realize that was unrealistic.  My body can handle two days a week.  If I run three days, I'm extremely sore and slow to the point of being discouraged.  My plan now is to run two days a week and use that third day for DVD or an extra long ROMWOD stretch.  That has worked well the last couple of weeks. 


And when I go for a run, I have three goals I strive for:

1. To get outside.  I know this sounds over simplistic for a running goal, but for me, just getting my running clothes on and getting outside is biggest hurdle I have.  I figure if I can talk myself into getting dressed and stepping outside, then I will do some sort of activity.  Whether it be walk for five minutes or run for thirty minutes.  Just getting out the door is the first goal.
2. To complete the distance scheduled.  Right now, my focus is to complete the Governor's Cup 5K with my nieces, so it's important to me to increase my distance by a quarter mile each week so I will be up to 3 miles by the week of the race.  Most likely I will be walking the 5K (nieces aren't into running), but I still want to be able to complete the distance with them.  And if I can run a 5K, then I can walk a 5K. 
3. To complete the distance scheduled with a 16 minute mile or less.  This is the most difficult of the three goals, because it requires me to push myself, yet listen to my body in case I need to slow down. 

Most times when I go out, I complete all three goals.  But there have been days, I have only completed the first two goals.  I don't beat myself (or I try not to) about not completing all three goals, and remind myself that I did complete 2 out of 3.  And remind myself how much better I feel because I'm eating healthy and moving again. 



My new decal for my car.  I will put a check when
each distance has been completed -
walking, running, or biking, as long as I do it!

I'm still not sure if I will be able to continue to run.  I have some knee pain, along with other aches and pains from hips to my toes (and some days from shoulders to my toes).  This could be from actually getting regular activity for the first time in two years, or from trying to exercise at my current weight, or legitimate issues that may not go away.  I won't know unless I continue to exercise and lose some weight.  But those aches, pains, and soreness are not going to stop me.  They may slow me down, cause me to re-evaluate what activity I'm doing, but I don't plan on stopping. 

If I can't run, I'll walk.  If I can't walk long distances, I'll ride a bike.  If I can't bike, I'll swim.  There are things I can do, I just have to be willing to do them!

I'm slow. Deal with it.

Friday was one of my run days, but I decided to run after work.  Which I did.  But I didn't think it through.  I'm a morning runner, so I knew I would be a bit slower if I ran in the afternoon.  What I hadn't planned on was the heat.  I've had severe heat exhaustion several times, which makes heat one of my worse enemy when running.  I figured I was only going a mile and a half, so I didn't bring water and I didn't bother putting my hair up.  Big mistake.  I did finish the 1.5 miles, but it was my slowest "run" yet, and I felt sick after, and every muscle seemed to be screaming at me. 

Because I still wasn't feel all that great on Saturday, I slacked off and did nothing.  No walks (other than Walmart, which should be considered a walk!), no DVD workout, but I did stretch.  

Yesterday was another run day.  I started out slow.  But I didn't care.  I was out there and whether I ran, walked, or crawled, I was determined to get 1.75 miles in.  

As I was running, I had this visual in my head of my desire arguing with the fat cells in my body.  Desire wanted to be out there, running, enjoying the cool morning air, and getting the feeling of accomplishment.  Fat was screaming, kicking, and fighting, pointing out that they had been allowed to sit around and do nothing for two years and that another day wouldn't hurt anyone.  Desire wasn't listening, she knows what she wants and Fat was not going to win this time.  This visual gave me the motivation to keep moving.  

I have the Runkeeper app audio cues set to tell me the distance and pace every quarter mile.  This keeps me on track and lets me know when I need to turn around and head home.  When the app reported I was at .25 mile with a pace of 16:01 miles per minute, Fat pointed out how slow I was, and asked why was I putting myself through this.  Then Desire, in a soft voice, pointed out that I had just jogged a quarter mile without a walk break.  I was pretty sure I hadn't done that in my last 5 runs.  As I thought about that, I continued to run (okay, jog, shuffle, whatever) and before I knew it, I hit a half mile without a walk break.  Yea me!  And my pace was improving and I was under a 16 minutes mile.  I did need to take a short walk break before the 3/4 mile, but I was feeling good.  I kept moving forward, kept up the shuffling pace, and with each quarter mile, my pace was getting better.  By the time I got back to the house, I had finished my 1.87 mile run with a pace of 15:02 per mile.

I couldn't believe it!  I started out slow, but ended up with my best run in two weeks.  I listened to my Desire and not my Fat and was able accomplish what I set out to do.  

So, I'm a slow runner.  Big deal.  I'm out there, I'm trying, and I'm getting it done.  And, when it comes time to do a half marathon, if I'm only able to keep a 15 minute pace throughout, I will still finish it.  I will still do something that a lot of people would not even consider doing.  

Yea, I'm slow.  Deal with it. I have.

Listening and patience

The last two weeks have been several of the best I've had in a long time.  I have now tracked on MyFitnessPal for 16 days, been to three Weight Watcher meetings, and have done some sort of exercise the last 11 of 12 days.  In other words, I'm feeling awesome!

I've even managed to lose 4.2 pounds in two weeks.  That sure beats gaining weight!

What I've come to realize in the last couple of weeks, especially in regard to the activity, is I need to listen to my body.  

Let me start this by saying I'm an impatient person.  When hubby and I had only been going out for a couple of weeks, I remember him turning to me, looking at me intently and saying, "You are the most impatient person I have ever met."  Yep.  That about sums me up.  I'm all about instant gratification (which may be a contributing factor to my ongoing struggle with my weight).

I want to run.  I want to be able to run like I used to.  Problem is, at this moment in my life, I can't.  I'm out of shape from not doing any activity for two years and I weigh over 200 pounds.  My body cannot handle a long, moderately paced, run.  That is a fact.  A fact I don't like, but there it is.  So I have to slow down and be... ready for it?  Patient.  I have to be patient.  *sigh*

But here's the thing, I'm not going to wait until the scale says I can run, I'm going to run now... slowly, softly, and for short spurts.  The key to me "running" (I'm putting running in quotes since it's more of slow paced shuffle) now is I have to listen my body.  When my ankle starts to hurt, I need to slow down to a walk; if my knee hurts, I need to stretch more; when my whole body is whining, I need to listen and decide if a different activity is needed that day.  

The past 12 days has given me a lot of time to listen, to reflect, to remember, and to dream.   If I want to run a half marathon (or even a 5K), I need to listen to my body, to respect it, and work with what I can at this moment.  If not, I could ruin any chance of running in the future.  I need to take it easy, yet push myself to keep moving.  I need to find other things I can do in the mean time, and as Sibyl told me last week, have a Plan B.  

If running becomes something that just isn't possible, I will need a big Plan B... biking, swimming, speed walking, whatever.  I'm not keen on biking... but I never thought I would be runner.  So anything's possible...

In the meantime, I'm going to do what I always do.  Persevere.  And maybe... just maybe... I'll learn some patience along the way.