Just checking in

I have been thinking for a week and a half I needed to do a blog post. I even thought of some great topics and things to "discuss," but when I sat down at my computer earlier this morning to write, my mind went blank.  Started typing something and it didn't even make sense to me, so I deleted it.  Stared at the blank screen for a few minutes and decided to find something else to do.  

And finding something else to do wasn't difficult because I've had a growing to do list since Friday and had only checked a few things off from the list.  One of the items on my to-do list (aside from writing a blog post) was to go for a 4-mile walk.  I needed to get out and walk so I could increase my distance to be ready for the 8K virtual race I want to complete in November.  I have told myself since Thursday that I was going to get out and do this walk.  I was too "busy" Friday, decided to rake the leaves in the yard on Saturday (great plan, got done just as the three day wind storm began), and yesterday was "too windy."  Today is a holiday for me (gotta love having a state job), so my last free time until next weekend.  It had to be today.  I didn't want to go, so reached out to a friend, MM, and texted to see if she was willing to walk 4 miles today.  She responded quickly with a "Sure!"  I was now committed to the task.  

We met up an hour later and started on the walk.  Weather was the best... breezy (windy at times), a little rain, and cool temperatures.  But we had a beautiful rainbow for most the walk.  And having someone to talk to made the time (and distance) go so much faster than plodding along by myself.  

I can now check the the 4-mile walk off my to-do list... and soon check off "write a blog post."  

So, what I have been up in the time since my last post?  Just plugging along.  Working my day job, working on my Lego business, scrapbooking, watching TV and movies with Hubby, and doing the occasional walk and stretch (neither of which I have been doing consistently lately).  Still working on my habits and behaviors.  Struggling with eating at the table, eating slowly and mindfully, and listening to my body.  I must be doing something right, because I am down 21 pounds in 12 weeks.  Down to a weight I haven't seen in 2 years and even better, some of my pants are getting loose... and one pair, very loose.  

I'm still working through my 100 Days of Weight Loss book.  Currently on Day 90.  Hard to believe I have been working on changing my behaviors for 90 days.  You would think it would be so much easier at this point, but it's actually more difficult.  At least I'm well aware of slipping into my old habits and I  try to do better.  Some days I do and some days I don't.  I just think of every day as a learning process.  

I have also completed week 1 of the Rebel Endurance Coaching.  It was more of a "start up" week with lots of assessments and getting used to working the lessons each day. On Saturday, I had to do my first set up measurements and pictures.  Something I was dreading and put off for a day.  I never did measurements when I lost the weight before, but definitely something I wish I had.  I have been doing my measurements this time around.  My plan was to take them every 10 pounds, but I think with the Rebel Endurance Coaching it will be every couple of weeks.  

The pictures... well, that was a humiliating process for me.  At my current weight, I try to avoid pictures of just me unless it's a well posed selfie (group shots don't bother me... other people to look at).  The pictures were just me, in a bad fitting sports bra and too tight shorts. Three pictures, one from the front, side and back.  I understand why they have you take the pictures.  So you can visually see the difference.  But I don't like how I look with clothes (baggy clothes) on, so seeing these pictures could have easily drove me into a fit of depression.  Instead, I had hubby take them, I posted them (knowing just Hubby, myself and my coach would see them), and I moved on with my day.  They are what they are.  Normally I would say, "it is what it is and I can't do anything about it."  But, this time, "it is what it is and I CAN do something about it."  

I now have my "baseline" for the coaching process.  Will be interesting to see how the weight, measurements... and pictures... change between now and then.  I have done well on my own, so I can only hope with some assistance from my coach (and good friend), I will continue to do well and build up my strength and endurance as well.  

Right now, I'm focusing on my small wins and rainbow moments.  Walking 4 miles today was my small win.  Walking with MM and seeing an actual rainbow, were my rainbow moments.  

MM and I at mile 3.5 or so

Finding the fun again

I have now been at this for 11 weeks.  In those 11 weeks I have lost 19.8 pounds, reconnected with old friends, and changed a few of my not-so-good eating behaviors for new ones.  I even walked a 5k!  

As summer ends and the cooler weather... and winter approaches, I started to worry about how I would keep moving when the weather turns on me.  We have a treadmill, but due to Hubby and I both working from home, there is now a makeshift work station in front of the treadmill, making inaccessible.  Until we can figure out another work around, I need to find a way to keep myself active when I talk myself out of going for a walk.  

I have quite a few workout videos (a lot less since donating a majority of them to Goodwill), but those aren't "fun"... at least they aren't to me.  They are great for strength training and burning a few calories, and the variety may keep me interested for a while, but I need something I enjoy.  

Then it came to me.  The Nintendo Wii.  Yep, we still have the original Wii... with multiple controllers and the Wii Fit Board.  When I cleaned out our video games (sold those about the same time I donated the workout videos) I kept Wii Fit and the Wii Active "games." On Saturday I decided to see if the thing still worked.  After scouring for the proper cords (then figuring out how to connect them by myself because Hubby was out), getting fresh batteries for the controller Fit Board, the moment came to turn it on.  Amazingly, it still worked.  I logged into Wii Fit... only to have it tell me I hadn't been around in 1,632 Days (that's 4.47 years in case you were wondering).  And then it did it's weight assessment.  Oh man, that was not a good thing.  Up 43 pounds in the last 4.47 years.  Lovely...  

But I didn't let that stop me from having my "fun."  I played all the games I hadn't played in years and felt myself getting a bit competitive with my former self (anyone who knows me, knows I hate competition... unless it's competing with myself).  I went through the games on the Wii Fit and then found the disc for Wii Sports and played that as well.  I had a blast.

Here's the thing... the only thing I've done in the past 11 weeks is walk, hike and stretch.  Not a whole lot of arm stuff.  

The next day, I was more sore than I had been in years.  My arms, shoulders and back were protesting big time... to the point that I didn't do the Wii Fit again until Monday.  Even now, my arms and shoulders are sore, but it's a good sore.  It's the soreness that lets me know that I am finally moving again.  

I've only used the Wii Fit and Wii Sports, I have not tried the Wii Active yet.  That is more of a workout than the other two and I want to give myself time to get used to the little bit I'm doing now. 

Another big change in my weight loss journey... rediscovery?... is something I have not done before.  I signed up with a personal coach.  My friend Sibyl started a business called Rebel Endurance Coaching which is a holistic approach to fitness.  It's not only about nutrition and exercise, but making small changes in the way you approach both.  Which is exactly what I have been doing (or attempting to do) for the last 11 weeks.  And this opportunity couldn't have come at a better time.  I've been struggling to keep up with my new better-for-me behaviors.  And with 2 more virtual races looming in the near future, a little help on my stamina and endurance would be a plus.  And the best part?  Sibyl knows me.  She not only knows my weight loss history, but she knows the aches, pains, and injuries I've had over the years.  She knows what I am willing to do, when I need a kick in the butt to get moving, and when to let me alone to figure it out on my own.  

Not sure how "fun" her coaching will be, but it will be a change.  A good change.  A change that is needed.  It will be new and interesting, which makes it fun.  

For now, I'm enjoying my morning walks... the way the sun shines on Mount Helena in the morning, the deer grazing in a neighbors yard, the cats slinking home after a night of prowling, the wave to the other people out walking.  It's good.  It's fun.  And in the afternoons and when the weather doesn't cooperate, I will continue to better myself by playing the Wii.  

Because if it's not fun, then why do it? 

Virtual 5K Completed!

This week has been a tough one for me.  I'm having a difficult time giving up the bad eating habits that are slowly (quickly) creeping back into my routine. And on top of that, I've been having stomach issues on and off all week (pretty sure it's something I'm eating).  So avoiding  the "comfort eating" has been a major challenge.  Yep, even with not feeling good, my first thought is food... if I eat just the right food, I will feel better.  That never happens, but doesn't stop me from trying! 

Because of not feeling well, my 30-minute walks have been hit or miss, I haven't been stretching, and there has been a lot more "couch time."  All of that started wearing on my self-esteem, and the self-doubt and negative thoughts started.  

Yesterday morning, I had had enough.  I woke up early, my mind racing, so I got out of bed at five am and decided that I was going to continue on, despite not feeling well.  I got up, did some chores, read Day 67 of the 100 Days of Weightloss book, then packed up so I could go to the scrapbook crop (first live crop since February/early March).  Saturday is our grocery shopping time, so I was at Walmart at 7 am, got the shopping done and back home before 8 am.  I still wasn't feeling great, but after talking with Hubby, we decided I should take my temperature, just to rule out the possibility that my stomach issues were more than a disagreement with the foods I was eating.  

Ugh!  I was running a slight temperature.  Pre-Covid, I wouldn't have given it a second thought.  Now... now you don't risk meeting up with friends with even a "slight" temperature.  Hubby suggested taking some ibuprofen and lying down for an hour to see if that knocked it down or if the slight temp difference was a fluke.  Nope, when I took my temperature an hour later, it was a tad higher.  *Sigh*  That meant no scrapping with friends, which added to my already spiraling mood.  I decided I would scrapbook at home and would "Zoom" the class I was missing.  Not the same as being there, but did help to improve my attitude.  I spent nearly the whole day scrapbooking and even got out for a slow walk with Hubby (Hubby is having an issue with his ankle and is in a boot, so the walk was slow).  I didn't overeat during the day because I was focused on scrapbooking and ordering pictures for the scrapbook pages.  Once I was done scrapbooking, ready to relax and watch TV, I made some popcorn... and ate it while watching TV, so ate mindlessly...  

I had been planning for a week to do the virtual 5K walk today.  I started going back and forth on actually doing it because of not feeling well, and not walking or stretching much during the week.  But I got up this morning and decided I would do it.  

I've had quite a few people offer to do this walk with me and I was going to take someone up on the offer, but this morning I realized I needed to do this by myself.  I needed to prove to myself that I am not the same person I was three months ago.  I have changed and completing this distance would prove that.

I did a few stretches, got my walking shoes on, earbuds hooked up, the race app open, and was ready to go.  So out the door I went.  

The air quality was good, a cool 56° degrees with a slight wind, and the sun starting to really shine.  A near perfect morning for a walk.  As I started out, the route is mainly downhill for about a quarter mile, so I started out a good clip.  And continued with that pace throughout the walk.  I also "jogged" across the cross streets and driveways. Near the 2 mile mark, I have to cross a set of railroad tracks and I could see a train (sitting, but they often stop then continue), so I "jogged" to get over the tracks before the train started moving again.  After that, I hit the dirt trail, a trail I have run hundreds of times while training for half marathons.  The thought of running got my feet moving and I did even more "jogging" (I keep putting the jog/jogging/jogged in quotes, because it's more of fast paced shuffle than a jog).  The last part of the walk was uphill, but I focused on how close I was to finishing.  I realized I was going to be able to complete this 5K under 60 minutes.  Something I didn't think I would be able to do.

I finished the 5K (3.1 miles) in 55:41, with an average pace of 17:55.  Which is one of the best pace times I've had since I started walking in July.  

I have now proved to myself I can do this.  And I can do this when I'm not feeling well.  I can do this without tracking and obsessing over every calorie going in (and out) of my body.  

Most of all, this has given me hope that I will be able to run again.  

Why don't I listen?

I am now on day 63 (week 9) of changing my behaviors.  And things are going well.  I've learned that I need to eat at the table, eliminate daily intake of junk food (everyday = bad, occasionally = good), and limit the snacks (snack being a healthy food such as fruit, not the junk food I used to consider a snack). I am much more active, I take 30 minute walks in the morning and 10 to 20 minute walks in the evening, I stretch regularly, and have made Saturday morning hikes part of my routine.  Yep, things are going well...

...except....

I still don't listen!  One of the biggest changes I am trying to make is to listen to my body.  To listen for the cues that tell me when I have had enough to eat.  These cues are subtle so you really need to pay attention.  Something I struggle with everyday.  I did well with listening early on, but lately, I've been turning a deaf ear and a blind eye to the cues my body is sending.  I ignore the subtle "eating pause" and continue on eating.  I am eating food just because it's there, not because I'm hungry.  If there is food on my plate or in my bowl, I eat it.  Do I need to eat it?  Nope.  But that doesn't stop me.  

In the last couple of weeks, I have let the bad habit of eating "because the food is on the plate" creep back into my life.  I find myself eating quickly and not even tasting the food I'm shoveling into my mouth.  I'm eating past "satisfied" and eating until I'm full.  I am not listening.  I'm also letting distractions back into my meal times.  First it was reading something on my phone, then it was watching a video, and several times I've eaten my snack on the couch while watching TV.  

It's amazing how fast I let these little behaviors back into my life.  Just little things, yes, but could quickly get me back to where I was before.  Eating fast and furious, while doing other activities.  Which then leads to eating the wrong foods... and back to where I started. 

I am trying.  Today I left a bit of my breakfast on the plate and reminded myself that if I am hungry in an hour or two, I can heat it up and finish it.  It's a start.  I now need to break myself of the habit of reaching for my phone while I'm eating.  The email can wait.  The text can wait. The Google search can wait.  That amusing article on Buzzfeed can wait.  There should be nothing distracting me while I am eating.  It is the only way I am going to break the bad habit of eating quickly and mindlessly.  I need to focus on the food in front of me and listen to my body.  It will tell me when I'm satisfied, but I won't hear it if I'm doing other stuff.  If whatever is on my phone is more important than focusing on my food, then I need to wait to eat. 

There is one way I am listening to my body... when it comes to my activity.  I am hyper-sensitive about the cues my body gives me (soreness, aches, pains) while I am walking or hiking.  My biggest fear is that I won't listen to my body and will end up with the knee pain (and/or foot pain) that plagued me before and caused me to stop running.  My whole motivation for eating healthy and getting to a healthy weight is so I will be able to run again.  That means taking it slow and listening to my body; walking slower when necessary, taking breaks during the hike, and modifying the stretches when it goes from a stretch to a pain.  It also means, when I'm feeling good, I can increase my walking speed (maybe even jog a step or two) and I can increase the range of  my stretches.  

The cues are there... I just need to listen.  

RS and WK

(back) LS, (front) MM, KR, WK and me

I feel...

Emotionally, this is a tough week for me.

Usually, this is the best week of the year for me and Hubby.  His birthday is the 7th, today (the 10th) is our anniversary, and tomorrow is my birthday.  To celebrate these three events, we go on a week long vacation.  Most years it would be Walt Disney World or Disneyland, last year it was a 7 day trip to San Diego.  

This year... well, I think you can guess why this has been a tough week.  No traveling.  No getaway.  Just more time at home.  I did take the week off from work, but it has not the relaxing week I had hoped for.  There's just been a feeling of unease to the week.  Don't get me wrong, I have had fun this week.  Went hiking with friends on Saturday, had an awesome time at the family BBQ on Sunday, a quiet lunch out with Hubby on Monday, and spent Tuesday night on the Zoom crafting call (a bunch of my scrapbooking friends get together on the zoom call and craft, talk, and laugh the entire evening).  We have a wonderful dinner planned for tonight at a local steak house and tomorrow night, I have some close friends and family coming for an outdoor movie night. 

Even with all that, I still feel... isolated.  Alone.  

Lots of reasons why I would feel that way... no vacations this year (we canceled our trip in March to Las Vegas), no week long celebration trip this month, no camping (Hubby has been having issues with his ankle, so camping would have been difficult), nothing but staying at home.  With working from home, it feels confining. 

Hubby's birthday was very blah because of the weather, it was a chilly, rainy, gloomy day.  He was in a funk most of the day, probably for reasons similar to mine.  

When I started this blog 6 years ago (6 years as of tomorrow), it was to keep myself motivated, focused on my goals, and may be inspire someone to work on becoming healthier.  Now, I use this blog to be accountable, to help me realize that I am capable of losing the weight again, and that I am not alone on this journey.

But... 

Tomorrow is the my 51st birthday and I was feeling sorry for myself this morning.  I was feeling like I didn't have a friend in the world (oh come on, everyone has felt that way at one time or another, I had my moment!).  Then I remembered all the people that reached out to me and said they would love to walk with me.  I had an old friend reach out on Facebook and said she would walk with me, despite not having talked in several years.  And on Tuesday, I had another friend offer to walk with me in the evenings.  And a new friend say she would love to join our hiking group on Saturday mornings.  

I am not alone.  I am not unloved.  I may not have a "BFF," but I have friends that care, that want nothing but the best for me.  I have friends that want to walk with me, that encourage and inspire me, that want to see me succeed.  

I have a good life. I have a wonderful husband, a great family, and awesome group of friends.  I have a good job (which right now, is a gift), a fun side gig selling Lego, and two felines that give me unconditional love.  I have shelter, food, and love.  

And for that, I am grateful.  

Genius, foolish or stupid?

It's been another week... and other loss.  Was down nearly a pound, bringing my weight loss total to 14.4 pounds in 7 weeks.  

This week I have noticed a couple of bad habits starting slip back into my routine. I noticed I'm not eating as slowly as I was the first couple of weeks.  It's still slower than I used to eat, but quick enough I wasn't savoring or enjoying the food as I ate it.  Also, I wasn't putting my fork/spoon down between bits.  And I was more distracted while eating.  I had two evenings this week, I ate while watching TV.  Let me clarify, I was eating fruit, so not my normal "sit on the couch and eat in a vegged out state" type of food (i.e. chips, ice cream, etc).  And the first evening I did it, I was eating blueberries... one at a time... feeling the texture (mushy or firm) and really tasting it (tart or sweet).  Last night, I ate a combination of blackberries and blueberries and ate them so fast, I didn't pay attention to the texture or taste at all.  

These are are not a habits I want to go back to, so today I'm committed to eating slowly, mindfully, and with little to no distractions.  (And did I mention I have a family BBQ today? ...so this will test my resolve to get back to the healthy habits). 

This week I also had a several days where I didn't get my 10,000 steps a day.  Not the end of the world, but two days in a row I was more sedentary than active.  This is another habit I don't want to go back to.  Defeats the whole purpose of me getting back to a healthy (healthier) weight... so I can start running again.

Which brings me to the title of this blog post.  I decided to sign up for several virtual races.  I have never done a virtual race before.  I've seen them advertised in the past (much more so since Covid-19 shut down nearly every race out there), and had thought they might be a good motivator to get me back to at least walking.  I've looked through a bunch of them, but most seem really overpriced for a virtual race.  Then I got an email (not an ad on my Facebook wall) from the company that puts on the Salt Lake City Marathon.  That race (the 1/2 Marathon, not the full... let's be clear on that!) is the first 1/2 marathon I ever ran and became a yearly event for Hubby and I.  I ran it every year between 2010 and 2015 (and walked it one year due to my knee).  It's my goal for the Salt Lake City 1/2 marathon to be my "come back" race. So when the email came about a virtual race series, I was intrigued.  And then, on a whim, I signed up for three of the races.  A 5K, an 8K and and 10K.  I have until December 31st to complete all three races.  I figured, this would be my motivator to increase my daily walks from 1.5 miles to something more.  Was it expensive to sign up? Sort of, but not much more than in person races (and a hell of a lot less than Disney races!).  And I still get the swag and bling.  For you non-race people... swag is the "gifts" you get for signing up race, usually a T-shirt, sometimes a water bottle, or in the case of "beer" races, a glass or mug at the end filled with beer.  Bling is the medal you get when you complete a race (I have a bunch of those from my running days - see picture).  

Here's the thing, when I first signed up, I was feeling pretty smart.  A brilliant plan to get me to do more than my normal 30-minute walk everyday.  I mentioned I was doing these races to a friend, and she excitedly asked if I was running again.  I felt foolish when I said, no, I would be walking them. Granted, we're not as close as we used to be, so she may be aware of how much weight I've gained and/or what running would do to my body at this weight.  Still, I started to feel like maybe this wasn't such a bright idea after all.  Then I started working out a time frame to complete each race by slowly increasing my Sunday walk time.  I figured out that I could do the 5K at the end of September, the 8K the beginning of November and the 10K around the middle of December.  Which means I would be walking a 10K in December, in Montana. Iffy weather at best...  

Then I began to wonder if I was being a genius by setting these goals to motivate me, foolish for doing this at a walking pace, or just plain stupid for thinking I could do it at all at my current weight.

And guess what... I'm freaking brilliant!  

So what if I am going to "just walk" these races?  I'm going to do them, complete them, and feel good doing it!  So what if the weather doesn't cooperate?  We have a treadmill.  And lord knows, when I was running, I spent many Sundays during the winter running hours at time on that treadmill to keep up with running schedule. So what if I spent two hours walking a 10K on the treadmill?  It's still 6.2 miles whether I'm outside or inside.   

I am not going to allow my self-doubt talk me out of this.  This is my first step to getting back outside and moving.  Then when I get the weight off, I will be that much closer to my goal of starting to run again.  

I just need to take it one day at time and focus on the moment.  And at this moment, I am feeling like a genius.

I did it!

I did it!  Okay, there has actually been a couple of "I did it!" moments this week. 

First was the completion of the Beck Diet Solution book.  I have owned this book for 10 or 11 years, but have never completed it.  The farthest I got was day 32 (out of 42 days).  This week I finished all 42 days worth of assignments and read the last two chapters.  When I did the book before, the days seem to drag on, but this time around, the 6 weeks have flown by.  

I will keep this book handy, because there are plenty of behaviors I still need to work on (mainly the sabotaging thoughts that plague me daily). When I start to struggle, I can "re-do" the topics that will help me get back on track.

I am still working my way through the 100 Days of Weight Loss book.  Day 46 and counting.  This book is an easy one to follow, but thought provoking enough to keep me thinking throughout the day.  

My second, "I did it" moment was getting my step average up to 10,000 steps a day.  I've slowly increased my steps day by day until I got to this point.  Now I average just over my 10,000 step goal.  This is a big deal for me... When I started on my walking routine, my average was 4,841 steps per day.  In other words, no consistent or spontaneous activity.  Now my activity is walking 30 minutes in the morning and walking 15 to 35 minutes in the evening to get my step goal.  I stretch every day for 15 minutes and just move more throughout the day.  Feels good to be active again.  As good as the physical activity is, it's even better for me mentally.  Nothing beats the "I can do it" feeling when I complete a walk (or hike... more on that in a moment), or finish a difficult yoga/stretch pose.  

Another "I did it" moment was my weigh in this week.  I had a small goal to get to the weight I was last year on my birthday (which is less than 2 weeks away).  I knew this was attainable goal, nothing ridiculous.  I lost 2.5 pounds this week (bringing the total to 13.3 lbs in six weeks), putting me below what I was last year at this time.  I have lost my vacation weight, holiday weight, and quarantine weight.  Now that is a good feeling! 

WK and RS

My last "I did it" moment happened this morning, just a couple of hours ago.  I had written about reconnecting with friends and going for walks on Friday afternoons (now on Saturday mornings) and I am still continuing with that.  Last week, my friend RS suggested we go walking (hiking) some of the trails not far from where we were.  I've hiked with RS many times in the past and she is an avid hiker.  So I reminded her that I'm taking it easy... I want to walk (hike) the easy trails, no major hills, something relatively flat.  She said no problem.  Because I know RS and how she hikes, I knew there would be hills.  And I still agreed to go.  

RS, WK and I

RS, WK and I meet up at the trail head and headed out for an "easy" hike.  We went slow, we looked at the views, RS pointed out all the mountains surrounding us (many of them I had hiked in the past), slowed to show us the last of the summer flowers, pointed out various trails in the area, and we talked about hikes, WW (we were all in WW together), weight loss, and life.  It was an awesome hike.  Easy?  Well, not difficult, but I did have to take a couple of breaks to catch my breath or give my legs a break.  No hills? RS doesn't know how to hike without a few hills (or gradual inclines).  A flat hike?  Nope.  Did I complete this hike?  Yes!  (with a few minutes of complaining here and there...)

So my normal, 30 minute morning walk, turned into an hour plus hike, over 400 feet of elevation (I never said they were major hills... but there were hills!), and an awesome feeling of accomplishment.  Thank you RS and WK for an wonderful morning.  And I'm already looking forward to next week's adventure!  

With all the major "I did it" moments, there were some small ones as well.  This past week, I've been struggling with insomnia (falling asleep has become a nightly issue), which makes me tired and irritable during the day.  Normally, my answer to being tired, is to eat.  Eat a lot.  It's been rough trying to figure out how to deal with the tiredness, and frustrations from being tired, without eating.  I've taken time during the day to rest or nap (gotta love the advantages of working from home!), I've gone for short walks around the yard to help wake myself up so I could focus on work, and I even made it through a work meltdown (another advantage to working from, no one can see me cry) without turning to food.  Was it easy?  Heck no!  It was all could do not to go in search of something to eat.  But when the emotional crisis or tired feeling had passed, I felt awesome for not giving in to the emotional eating.  

Like every time I write a post lately, I wonder if these good feelings will last.  How long can I keep this positive, I-can-do-it attitude?  How long before one "bad" day leads to a string of bad days?  

The most important question I ask myself, "Can I continue to do what I'm doing for a lifetime?" The answer to that yes.  But "Will I continue to do this for a lifetime?"  That is something only time will tell... 

 

Waiting for the wall

 "This is still working for me!"  is a thought I have almost daily.  

I keep waiting to lose interest, have a bad day and quit, or hit that imaginary wall where I just can't see myself following a weight loss program for one more day.

39 days in and that still hasn't happened.  If I was to be totally honest with you (okay, and honest with myself), I don't think I have stuck to type of weight lose program for this long in years... As in the last 4 to 5 years.  This just feels... well.... weird.  

Shouldn't I be ready to quit?  Or at the very least, looking for the loop holes that would allow me to eat more without actually cheating or going off program?  

I haven't done any of that.  

What I have done?  I eat at the table, eat with limit distractions, cut back on the snacking between and after meals, and upped my activity to 30 minutes a day.  That's pretty much it.  Still eat the same meals I was eating prior to starting this... spaghetti with wheat noodles, tuna noodle casserole, beef stroganoff (with either wheat noodles, brown rice or cauliflower rice), pork chops and mashed potatoes... all the foods I love.  I eat a hearty breakfast of breakfast sandwiches or wraps, breakfast skillet (ground pork, peppers, onions and potatoes),or pancakes and sausage or bacon (with real maple syrup - not the pancake syrup concoctions).  If I do have a snack, it's string cheese or a portion of fruit.  Sometimes I have a treat.  Last Saturday, Hubby brought me a brownie from the local bakery (which we shared) and the next day I had a thin slice of very yummy cake made by niece. 

And guess what... even with all... I lost 2.5 pounds last week.  I didn't track one calorie.  I ate real food, a couple of treats, and still lost weight. 

This is where all the self doubt starts kicking in.  Before, when I wanted to lose weight, I had to cut back on the food I was eating, I thought of treats as "bad" and felt the need to count every calorie going into my body and every calorie I expended during the day.  I was darn near obsessive about it because I was sure if I didn't then I wouldn't be able to lose weight (or maintain my weight).

This time, I'm more focused on how I'm eating and why I'm eating and the weight is coming off.   And coming off faster than I would have imagined.  This can't possibly be right... or can it...? 

By eating when I'm hungry (not because of the time of day, because others are eating or just because the food is there) and pushing my plate away when I'm full (*gasp* there is still food on my plate!), I am, for the first time, listening to my body.  I have always felt the need to be the best participant of the "Clean Your Plate Club" and always ate every thing on my plate.  Usually because it was there, so I might as well eat.  If someone else made the meal, I felt obligated to finish it or would hurt their feelings (Hubby and I actually had a discussion about that one since I always felt I had to finish any meal he made).  Or if we were out to eat, then yes, I have to finish this food because, gosh darn it, we paid for it (I have recently learned how to say "could I please get a to go box?").  

I'm still learning my hunger signals, still figuring out that moment when I am satisfied with a meal (not full or stuffed), and still learning to walk away with food on plate.  I'm learning I don't have to eat my entire meal in one sitting.  It's okay to feel satisfied and then finish the meal later if I get hungry again.  If I take the time to slow down and listen to my body, all the information is there.  

For me, this is an amazing discovery.  I've spent years ignoring every signal my body has given from food to exercise.  I ate when I thought I should, in amounts predetermined either by someone else or randomly.  I worked out to the point of causing injury because I didn't listen to my body.  

The question that nags at me every day is... how long will this last?  How long will I continue to pay attention to all the cues my body is giving me?  Can I really do this forever?  Is all of this just some sort of weird fluke and I will eventually give up and gain weight back?  Is this the new me or a temporary me? 

I don't know the answers to those questions... no one does.  I can only take this one day at time... I one hunger signal at time... and pray for the best.    

Day 32

I have now been working my way through the Beck Diet Solution Book and the 100 Days of Weight Loss for 32 days.  I have made a lot of changes to how I eat, but not what I eat and I've still managed to lose 8.2 pounds in four weeks.  If you would have told me it was possible for me to lose weight without counting WW Points or calories, I would not have believed you. But here I am.

I am feeling very good about the changes I've made, I'm still focused on changing my behaviors and increasing my activity, and feeling better both physically and mentally.  So all is good...

...maybe...

The self doubt is starting to creep back in.  I'm starting to think this will take too long.  What happens when I hit an emotional day? What if.. what if... what if... thoughts are starting to crowd out the positive feelings.  I don't have these thoughts every day, but I'm noticing them lurking more and more.  

I have a friend I email nearly every day who is on her own weight loss journey (and doing amazing!) and we were discussing the "honeymoon" phase of weight loss.  The period in which the diet is new and exciting, and you can't wait to see what the future brings.  But eventually that ends... then what?  I told her I have three phases I go through when I am focusing on weight loss.  

The Honeymoon Phase:

    This is the best phase, isn't it?  Life is good and full of possibility.  Trying a new diet, seeing those initial big losses on the scale.  Everything is fun and exciting.  This phase, for me, can last anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of months... depending on the diet and what's going on in my life.

The Realization Phase:

    This the phase that usually derails me, makes me want to quit or causes me to quit.  This when the reality of the diet hits me.  When I realize this is what I will need to do for the rest of my life to lose weight and maintain the weight loss.  And if I am on the wrong diet (wrong diet for me, not saying these are bad!) such as Paleo, Whole 30, etc., then I quit.  I find myself craving the foods the diet says to avoid, and then I binge on those foods. 

    Sometimes I will bounce between the Honeymoon Phase and the Realization Phase, like I've been doing for the last week.  I know that what I'm doing is good for me, but I also know that I will need to be patient, that the weight will not come off over night.  

    This Realization Phase is generally a shorter phase for me.  I either quit or I accept this is what I want to do and I'm willing to do to lose weight and maintain a healthy weight.  Unfortunately, I have spent many (MANY) short periods in this phase in the last five years.  And every time, I have quit.  I don't move on to the next phase.

The Acceptance Phase: 

    This is a great phase to be in.  This is where I have gotten past the newness of the diet, past the reality of what needs to be done, and I just do it.  I have accepted that I can do this and I am willing to do this for the long term.  

    When I initially lost the weight and was on maintenance, I was in this phase for over 4 years.  I felt great, I tracked my calorie intake every day, I exercised (and for the most part, enjoyed it), and knew what I was doing was keeping me healthy.  Looking back, I can see that a string of events led me down to some wrong paths on my weight loss and I have been struggling to find my way back.  I can't just jump into this phase, I will need to go through the other two phases before I get to this point.  

*******

This time, my approach to weight loss is different than before.  When I joined Weight Watchers in 2004, I was focused on food and my input/output to lose weight.  I struggled all through my weight loss with emotional eating and my unhealthy relationship with food (there's a reason it took me 6 years to lose 116 pounds).  I worked on those issues here and there throughout my weight loss, but never truly learned how to deal with emotional eating.  And that was a major reason I gained the weight back.  Life threw me a bunch of changes that I was not prepared for and I used food to soothe my soul.  And it didn't work.  I gained the weight back, fast at first, slower over the last couple of years... but to the point that my weight became another issue I had to deal with.  

This time I am more focused on my relationship with food.  I learned over my 10+ years of weight loss and maintenance what my body needs in terms of quality and quantity of food.  Food I can handle without much issue.  So this time, it's about learning to deal with the emotional eating, how to handle what life throws at me without turning to food.  It's about accepting my weight as it is today, getting past the embarrassment of gaining the weight back, and asking my family and friends for help.  

By asking Hubby to be my "diet coach" and giving him instructions on what I need from him, an how I need him to respond in certain situations, he has become my biggest supporter through this.  By getting past our unspoken competitiveness in weight loss and activity, my best friend and I now turn to each other for support during the rough days.  By accepting the offer to walk with friends, I have reconnected with people I haven't spend time with in years (thank you KR and WK for Friday evening walks!! ).  

I don't know what tomorrow will bring... it could be I hit the Realization Phase like a brick wall and find I can't continue.  But right now, this moment, I'm in the Honeymoon Phase, and will enjoy this moment while its here.  

Thank you! And other miscellaneous ramblings

I just had to write and say thank you to all my Facebook friends that commented on my post. I was hesitant about linking the blog post to my Facebook page.  I felt embarrassed to admit I had gained so much weight back and that I was starting over again (for the umpteenth time!).  The responses I got were so positive and heartwarming!  A special thanks to AB and RB, whose comments brought tears to my eyes and filled my heart with love.  And a shout out to KR, WK and RS, who all immediately volunteered to walk with me.  Thank you all! 

I had another good week, with lots of positive benefits from following the weight loss books.

There was one moment of self doubt.  I weigh myself twice a week, as a compromise to the two books I'm following. One book says to weigh everyday (to desensitize yourself to the scale so you use it as one of many tools to gauge how you are doing) and the other says to weigh once a week (so the scale doesn't affect your attitude during the week).  I decided to do a mid-week "check in" on Sunday with my "official" weigh in on Wednesday.  This was working great until this past Sunday.  Stepped on the scale, feeling positive, pleased with the way I had stuck to my behavior changes, and the scale turned on me.  It announced I was up 1.4 pounds.  And I'm pretty sure it was flashing that number in a mocking way.  

Laying back down on the bed, I thought about what could have caused it.. I reminded myself that weight can fluctuate as much 5 pounds a day depending on food, water and activity.  I told myself that Sunday is just a mid-week check-in, it is not of my official weigh in day.  I had a choice to make, I could accept the number as just that, a number; or I could let it be the undoing of 19 days of doing things "right."  I decided to let it go.  I would just continue on as I had been doing.  Then Hubby reminded me that I had a bout of heat exhaustion the day before (yard work in 80° to 90° heat + not enough water = heat exhaustion).  He pointed out that my body was probably still recovering from that and to not let the number on the scale get to me.  

And he was right.  When I weighed in on Wednesday, I was down 1.3 for the week.  That's 7.2 pounds in three weeks.  Yea me! 

Another challenge this past week was a family BBQ, with all the good food that entails.  I had a few slices of meat and cheese (no crackers) and a couple of chunks of watermelon for the appetizer; ate a cheeseburger (no bun), watermelon, and a green salad (which I brought) for the main meal.  I said no to the cupcakes and popsicles.  I ate slowly and mindfully, while still holding conversations with my family.  The best part?  When Hubby said he was proud of how I did!  💖

This week I had several other proud moments.  

For years, I have used an app called "Runkeeper."  I downloaded it when I was running to keep track of my distance and pace.  I also used it for the occasional hikes and walks.  Since I've started walking again, I use it as a guide for my time and distance.  After using the app on and off since May of 2013, I have logged 1000 miles of walking, hiking and running.  That made me feel good about the morning walks I had been doing, knowing those 1 - 1.5 mile walks added to the milestone.  

Fitbit is another app I have used daily since Hubby bought me my first Fitbit for Christmas in 2012.  I've had three different Fitbits over the years.  I had to replace my original one after losing it in the medical tent at the Tough Mudder in Tennesse (replaced it the next morning!) and then I bought myself a Fitbit Charge 2 several years ago.  Even when I wasn't doing any activity, I still wore it everyday. I've logged over 10,000 miles in 8 years.

In the last month, I have been slowly increasing my steps every day.  I'm working on being more active, but being cautious because I don't want to fall victim to my foot/knee pain again.  My "slow and steady" method seems to be working.  Both my steps and active minutes are up from the previous 28 days.  

I use those apps as daily motivators to keep me focused on my ultimate goals... to be healthy when I retire in 6 years and with the hope I may be able to run again in the future.  

I'm now on Day 24 of both the Beck Diet Solution and the 100 Days of Weight Loss.  I enjoy my "me time" in the mornings.  That hour I spend on getting in a walk and working on the books helps keep me focused throughout the day.  And the support of Hubby and my friends keep me going as well.  

Yes, I'm well aware I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase of my diet right now, but I'm okay with that.  I'm enjoying the newness of it all... and enjoying the way I feel.  And trying to just take this one day at time.  

I'm loathe to say it...

Okay, I really don't want to say I'm "starting over" or "back on track."  I am very much aware of how many times I've said that in the last 4 to 5 years.  


So instead... how about I say "I'm changing my behavior."  And let me add, I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase of this round of trying to do better for myself.  

(And that looks like a lot of quotes for two short paragraphs!)

Like a lot of people, I'm struggling with everything that is going on in the world right now.  The virus, protests, the mishandling of both of those and many other things.  All of it is very depressing, and I handled this depression like I always do... by eating.  

And guess what?  That didn't work... didn't stop me from trying though...

My weight, which had been going up quickly anyway, was starting to concern me.  That was a relatively new feeling.  For months (years), I've manage to ignore my weight gain whenever possible.  You would think that would be a difficult thing to do since it's my body.  But it's surprisingly simple... first, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror.  And if I do need to look in the mirror, I stick with looking from the neck up.  Second, I stopped getting on the scale.  My weight wouldn't go up if I didn't step on the scale....right?  Third, I avoid seeing people who knew me "before" to eliminate any possible embarrassment. That became the best part about being quarantined... less likely to run into people out and about.  

All of that was working for me... until it wasn't.  I realized I could no longer do any of the things that made me truly happy... hiking, fishing (stream fishing, lots of walking), backpacking, running.  I was getting tired just walking around Walmart.  I was continually in pain or sick, constant headaches, and just feeling miserable.  I could no longer ignore what was going on.  

Over the course of several weeks, I contemplated what I could do.  I knew what worked for me to lose the weight in the past, I knew what worked to maintain a healthy weight.  I weighed the pros and cons of what I could do and what I should do.  Then my self-doubt kicked in.  How many times have I started over?  How many times did I jump back into the same routine, only to quit a week or a month later?  Did I really want to do that again?  I could do Weight Watchers (or WW as it's now known) online, but that never worked for me.  I needed the interaction of the meetings... which are now stopped for an indefinite amount of time.  And really, would I walk back into the WW center having gained nearly all the weight I lost?  Just the thought filled me with shame and embarrassment.  (Even though, logically, I know no one would say anything, and people would be as happy to see me as I would be to see them).  

What could I do?  What could I do that would get me in the right mindset to move past all the negative thoughts? 

I decided I would dust off my old Beck Diet Solution book and do some of the daily activities in that while I contemplated my options.  I could try WW online, Noom, just counting calories on MyFitnessPal.com, eating clean, or re-trying the Whole 30 or 21 Day Sugar Detox.  

I dug out the Beck Diet Solution book and found the 100 Days of Weight Loss book as well.  I decided on whim to give them both a try.  Why not?  The only thing I had to lose was weight.  (Bad jokes... I got 'em!).

Then, I had to figure out when I was going to work on the books.  Each book has a daily section with an "assignment" to do during the day.  I know from experience that the Beck Diet Solution (here on out to be known as BDS) would take about 10 - 15 minutes a day.  I assumed the other book would take that long as well.  When could I set aside 30 minutes to work on improving myself?  I thought about my current schedule... get up, work on the Lego business, log into work (I'm fortunate enough to have a job that allows me to work from home during this time), work from 7-3, work on Lego from 3 - 5 or 6, eat dinner, and crash on the couch (hey, don't judge... by 6 pm I've worked 11 to 12 hours!).  

I decided to give up my hour in the morning that I worked on my Lego business to focus on me.  Using my past experience, I know that focusing on healthy behaviors in the morning keeps me focused throughout the day.  Less likely to go astray.  

I figured since I was going to use that time for me, I might as well go for 15 - 30 minute walk as well.  

Making that decision, I moved forward with my plan.  Work on the weight loss books (both books are meant to help create healthy behaviors so you can more easily stick to your weight loss plan).  In fact, the BDS doesn't have you start your diet until Day 15.  Perfect!  Gave me time to think about what I wanted to do.  

I started all this 18 days ago.  Yeah, so only 18 days into it... but I feel great.  Since starting I've only had one major headache (day 1, when I decided to not have any sugar) and two minor headaches since then.  3 headaches in 18 days is an awesome record for me! 

I started walking in the morning... slowly building up from 15 minutes to 30 minutes.  I am very slow, but I remind myself (as does the FitBit dashboard) that I have increased my steps by over 50% from the previous 28 days.  I am making the time to get out and walk... and even 5 minutes at a slow pace is better than zero minutes.  I have made a couple of mental long term goals in connection with my activity, but for now I'm keeping them to myself (well, me, Hubby, and best friend).  I want to focus on what I can do right now and not get distracted by what I want to do later.  

Since the BDS gave me the 15 days before starting a diet, I used that time to focus on healthy behaviors.  The one that has made the biggest impact, by far, is the "sit at the table" rule.  So simple, but for me a game changer.  I have to sit at the table anytime I want to eat.  Even a snack.  Even a bit of cookie.  I sit at the table with limited distractions (more on that in a second).  I noticed once I had to do that, I would rethink anytime I had the urge to eat.  "Am I really hungry?"  "Do I want to stop what I'm doing to sit at the table?" "Is the hunger at such a level I am willing to stop this activity?"  More times than not, I would just shrug off the urge to eat and keep doing whatever it was I was doing before the thought to eat hit me.  

I did figure out very quickly, what I can and can't do while sitting at the table to eat.  One of the other BDS steps is to eat slowly and mindfully (this one is still difficult for me).  I have figured out I can't have a screen in front of me (no TV, computer, tablet or phone).  I can't read a book either (I tend to shovel the food in while reading).  I can listen to an audio book, converse with Hubby, or listen to the radio and still eat slowly and mindfully.  

I've learned to slow down my eating by setting my fork/spoon down between bites and emptying my mouth before picking up the utensil.  Meals times have become longer.  I now use my morning break from work for breakfast (no more eating while working) and my afternoon break for lunch (I sit outside in the shade to eat, enjoying some fresh air).  

Another big change has been the support from Hubby.  He has always supported me in my weight loss efforts, but this time around instead of just saying "Please help me," I had him read the page from the BDS book about selecting a diet coach (mentor, friend, someone you turn to when struggling).  He better understood what I needed from him.  Then there were several days in the 100 Days of Weight Loss books that had me write out how I wanted my family/friends to respond to certain scenarios (going off program, weight gain, emotional eating, etc.).  It was helpful for me to write out how I wanted Hubby to respond to these scenarios and even more helpful for Hubby.  So instead of the vague "help me" he knows that if I seem to be emotional eating, he needs to ask me how I'm feeling.  If he sees me eating out boredom, he knows to suggest that I do something else for 5-10 minutes then if I still want to eat after that, I can (chances are good, if I do something else, the urge to eat will pass).  

During the first 15 days, I cut back on snacking (didn't want to sit at the table, so I skipped the snacks), drank more water, and went for more walks.  Never counted one calorie.  Never changed my meals in any way (okay... week two I started eating more salads and veggies).  You can probably guess what happened...  I lost 5.9 pounds in two weeks.  To say I was amazed, would be an understatement.  I had read books you could lose weight without counting calories and WW had their "Simply Filling" plan, but I didn't think I would ever be one of those people.  Yet, here I am.  

It's only been two weeks (or 18 days), but I feel great, I've lost weight, and my depression has subsided (of course, limiting my access to the news also helped with that).  I get out for a planned walk every morning, and stretch every evening with Hubby.

Will this attitude last?  God, I hope so.  But I'm a realist.  I know that I have a long way to go.  It took me 6 years to lose the weight before and I am more than willing for it to take that long again... as long as I learn that I need focus on my behavior just as much (if not more) than what I am eating.  For the time being, I am not going to count calories, but I am writing down what I eat during the day so I am aware of what I'm eating. As long as I'm seeing a lower number on the scale each week, I don't feel the need to count calories right now. 

I just pray, that my next blog post is not another "I'm starting over" post, but a "look at what I've continue to do" post.  

  

A normal Sunday

Good morning!  

Friday and Saturday were successes for me.  I got through both days by focusing on what I was capable of doing.  I tracked, drank water (though never enough) and got out for a couple of short walks here and there.  

Work on Friday was a lot tougher than I expected.  It was a beautiful spring day here in Montana (one of our first good days), so no one wanted to be stuck at work which made it difficult to focus. I didn't have any major projects to keep my mind from wandering or my eyes from glancing out the office window every five minutes. When I get that way, I tend to want to eat (boredom eating).  I struggled through and kept looking at MyFitnessPal app to remind me that I needed to save some calories for dinner.  

Yesterday went so much better than I expected.  I spent nearly 8 hours at the scrapbook crop and not only didn't eat any of the many treats they had (the snacks seem to multiple by the hour), I got out for two short walks.  Something I had never done before while at the crop.  The weirdest part was I wasn't really tempted by the treats... they had some awesome treats!  I don't know why, but I'm grateful for that.  Made it easier to get through the day.  Though if I could figure out why some days are like that and others are so tough, it would make this weight loss thing whole lot easier! 

Before going to the scrapbook crop, hubby and I went to Walmart to get our weekly groceries and so I could pick a couple healthy snacks to take the crop. I decided against some of the foods I would normally get (individual bags of baked chips, Breyers Natural Vanilla ice cream, and diet 7up) and got string cheese, fruits and veggies instead.  Made a last minute change on one of the dinners I had planned when I realized some of the ingredients didn't follow the follow the five or less rule.  The five or less refers to the ingredients in the product... a product should contain five or less natural (if possible) ingredients.  I hadn't realized how fair I had strayed from that guideline until yesterday.  

Still focusing on this weight loss one day at time.  Yes, my mind wanders and I try to visualize a future at a healthy weight, but I remind myself that this is going to be a long uphill battle and I need to focus on the moment.  I could make plans, set goals, and tell myself I'm do x, y and z by a certain date, but it won't happen.  It never does.  This moment is the only thing I have control over. 

How long will this new resolve, this positive attitude, last?  I have no idea.  I'm just going to enjoy it and take advantage of it while it's here.

This morning I stepped on the scale.  I told myself it was to make sure that our Aria Fitbit Scale was syncing with the app (which it did not do on Friday), but really it was see how I was doing. Which I know I shouldn't do; I still have that love/hate relationship the scale. How am I doing just 48 hours after weighing myself on Friday?  Down .8, that gives me that mental boost I need to keep going.  And yes, the scale did sync with the app today.  

My challenge for today?  My challenge today will be to get my steps in.  Sundays are the hardest day for me to get moving. I generally spend my time sitting... working on bills, working on my Lego business, taking a nap.  Not a very active day. And the weather here is so supposed to be cool and overcast, which doesn't make it very inviting to get out for a walk (but if I was running, it would be awesome weather for that). Tracking my food intake and drinking my water shouldn't be an issue, so I will need to focus on my steps and force myself out for a couple of walks around the neighborhood.  If hubby is around, I'm sure he will go with me which will make it easier to get outside. Always easier, when you make a plan with someone else.  

Huh... reading this over, I realize this is kind of a boring post.  But it is Sunday, just a quiet, boring day at home.  And not many people will read this anyway. I mentioned to my friend Sibyl yesterday that I was blogging again, but not posting the link to Facebook because I was embarrassed and ashamed of my weight gain.  She laughed and commented that I was stilling posting it to the internet where anyone could see it.  True, but what she doesn't realize is I don't get many hits on my post when I don't have the link in Facebook.  I get maybe 5 to 10 hits (I'm pretty sure most of those are just me, clicking to make sure the page looks good LOL).  I'm not even sure how those people (or you, the reader) find these posts.  Maybe once I feel like I'm really back on track and being successful more days than not, then I will start linking the post to Facebook for my friends and family to see.  I'm just not there yet.  

Okay, if you have gotten to this blog by mistake, or have come here intentionally, and have read this far, I want to say thank you!  Now, go out and enjoy the  rest of your day.  :-) 

Week 829.2 – Facing the scale and other ramblings

Here it is… day two of week 829.  I think blogging yesterday (for the first time in nearly a year) helped my attitude a bit.  Was able to focus on the things I could do, and I did them.  I tracked, drank more water than normal, and got a few more steps than the day before.  All positive things.

 

Since I was on my “feeling so good” high when I woke this morning, I decided I should face the scale.  The scale is something I have been avoiding lately.  Occasionally I would step on just to see how things were going (never good) and hop right back off, shove it in the corner, and berate myself for every bad thing I have done in the past five years.

 

If I weigh in, I try to do it on Thursday morning.  Thursdays were my Weight Watcher meetings for years.  And Thursday night is the night hubby and I go out to eat.  I didn’t weigh in yesterday morning because that was before I decided to try again (for the 1,891st time in the last five years). 

 

So, I faced the scale this morning.  And guess what? Today was no different.  Well, other than seeing a number on the scale that I hadn’t seen since 2004. I was not happy.  So, I hopped right back off, shoved it in the corner, and berated myself for every bad thing I had done in the past five years.

 

Hey, I’m consistent, if nothing else.

 

Once my pity party was over, I thought about it logically. (I am occasionally capable of rational thought, contrary to what my hubby may say)  I thought about everything I’ve eaten the past week or two (no moderation, no filter, very little healthy foods), and thought about the fact I ate out last night (somewhat healthy choices that fit into my calorie goal for the day).  I’m okay.  I’ll give it a week and see how it looks next week.

 

Me (2020-02-26)

Today should be an “easy” day for tracking, drinking my water and walking.   The only challenge I foresee if boredom eating while working on a mind-numbing project at work.  The challenge will be tomorrow.  A scrapbooking crop.  Friends, fun, and food.  Good food.  Hard to resist food.  I always go with a plan, but the plan seems to vanish after about 30 minutes of being there.  Tracking will be key to a successful outcome.  I'll just tell myself I can have whatever I want, but I must track it first.  If do that, then I will reconsider my choices.  Sounds good in theory, doesn’t it?  The other difficult part will be getting my steps in.  Scrapbooking, or any of my other hobbies, are sit-down activities.  I don’t have plan for walking….

 

I would say that I will write about how I did at the scrapbook crop but looking at my track record for writing blogs on a regular basis, please don’t hold your breath!