Traveling and staying on track

Hubby and I traveled this weekend, just a quick getaway to break boredom of the of the post winter, pre-spring seasons.  Traveling is always difficult when you are trying lose weight or maintain weight, so it is always a major challenge for me.

This time, I successfully navigated the challenges of traveling.  I kept to my three simple goals of tracking, walking and drinking water.  

Tracking is made difficult because it's hard to know what is in the food you are eating or what is used in preparation (oils and such).  It becomes a guessing game and my strategy is to guess on the high side of the calorie counts.  Even with that, I managed to stay within my calorie (or close to it).

Walking was by far the easiest goal to accomplish on this mini-trip. We did a lot of walking since we were window shopping at several malls and I spent several hours wandering around a casino in hopes of finding a lucky machine (but no such luck).  My steps for the day flew past my meager goals, giving me some of the highest steps counts I have had in months.  

As for my water goal, I'm not sure if I met that each day, but I did drink a lot more water on this trip then I would have in the past couple of years.  I seemed to have bought a lot of bottles of water.  In hindsight, I should have filled my gallon jugs from home and thrown them in a cooler.  Something to think about for next time!

The only downfall to the vacation, was waking up to a headache yesterday.  Hard to say what triggered it, but it lingered most of the day, draining a bit of my energy and positive attitude.  Yet, I was still able to stay on track and make the most of my time away.  It blew my 8 day streak without a headache, but gave me the confidence to stick with my goals and not eat out of comfort.

Overall, I felt good about the weekend.  I had fun and stayed on track.

I got this!  

Week 1 - success!

My first week back on the healthy lifestyle wagon, has been a success.

I can't believe what a difference a week makes.  I feel better physically and emotionally. I have more energy and life just seems better.

Probably the most notable difference for me is the fact I have not had a headache in 7 days.  After having nearly continuous headaches for the last 4 months, this is amazing.  I knew that what I was eating was probably a contributing factor, but I never imaged that it was the root cause of the headaches.  

A much happier me!

And because I haven't been in pain from the constant headaches, I'm much happier.  Or at least, a lot less emotional.  I only had one emotional morning in the last week and that was due to work frustrations.  By the end of the day I was fine.  

This morning I stepped on the scale and was happy to see I had lost 2.8 pounds in one week.  Just by following my three simple goals.  I've increased my daily steps an average of 100 steps a day (have gone from 5,300 steps up to my goal of 6,000 today).  Hubby and I have started stretching again, so the aches and pains I have from my short, slow walks are going away.  

I have 21 weeks until my 50th birthday and the trip to San Diego, and I would like to lose 19.8 pounds by then.  One pound per week.  I will need to stick with my goals to track, walk and water. 

I got this! 

Back to work

This weekend was a success for me.  Not sure if I will be down anything according to the scale, but emotionally and physically, it was a win for me.  

I followed my three simple goals of track, walk, and drink water.  I met all three goals, each day of my three-day weekend.  Took a little planning to make sure I got my step goal, but other than that, it was easy.  

Yesterday was a really good day for me.  I had the energy to get things checked off my to-do list, go for a walk, had my mom over to help with the Lego inventory, and took a 30-40 nap.  Most Sundays I would struggle to get one or two things done and would take a 1 - 2 hour nap.  And Hubby and I did the stretching video last night.  Woke up with a few less aches and pains.  Definitely need to add that to my daily goals as part of the walking goal.

Today, I go back to work.  Work stress seems to derail me from my goals, but having success last week gives me the confidence that I can make it through another week.  It will also be another short week for me since Hubby and I are going away for the weekend (which will be a different challenge, but will deal with that as I get closer to the weekend). 

I'm going to continue to focus on my goals, take breaks when I start to feel stressed, and try to remind myself that it is just a job, not my life.  Which is sometimes hard to do when you spend so much time at work...

Our four little foster kittens,
Clancy, Simba, Waylon, and Charlotte

This week will be fairly busy between work, kitten things (we are fostering 4 kittens at the moment, quite the handful), and getting ready to be gone for a couple of days.  Need to put a notice on the online store that processing will be delayed, have the cat/house sitter visit to go over the routine, and will need to pack at some point.  

Ugh, I'm rambling again.  I seem to do that when I try to do a blog before work.  But this is the best time for me to do it.  I'm usually busy with the Lego store, kittens, chores and other stuff after work.  Time slips by and I don't post anything.  

Now that I'm getting into a healthy routine, I may cut back on posting a blog every day.  Try to post at least once a week, and then maybe I will have more to say that isn't a rambling mess.  LOL

Today I will follow my three simple goals of tracking, walking, and drinking water.  I got this! 

Still Going...

Going into Day 6 of my "three simple goals."  

This weekend has been easier to stay on track than I thought it would be.  I like having just three simple goals to focus on.  Makes life easier.  

I have no issues on getting out for one or two short walks to get my meager step goal (which increases just a few steps a day).  Tracking is fairly easy since my breakfast is generally the same for a several days in a row and my lunch is leftover from the night before, so just means a lot of copying the meals on MyFitnessPal.com.  I am not too concerned about the calorie count right now, it's more about getting in the habit of tracking and being aware of what I'm eating.  If my weight loss stalls, then I will start working on the quality and quantity of the calories.  Water seems to be my biggest challenge.  I drink a lot of hot tea (even in the summer), and I had been drinking a lot of diet 7up and diet Sprite in the last couple of months.  So getting away from that and drinking just plain water has not been an easy transition.  I have made my water goal everyday, it just takes more planning than the walking and tracking.  And you would think that would be the easiest goal to accomplish! 

Me, after my walk on Saturday.

I am going to have to start adding stretching every evening to my list of goals.  My goal this week has been to walk between 5,300 and 5,700 steps a day (most days I've walked between 7,000 and 9,000 steps), but that it causing me more pain than I care to admit.  My foot hurts nearly as bad as it did in the fall.  My knee twinges going downstairs.  And I have aches from my lower back to the tips of my toes that comes from moving my body for the first time in 6 months.  I'm hoping that stretching will help with all that.  

I want to be able to walk for long distances without any pain.  Just 21 weeks until my 50th birthday and 22 weeks until we go to San Diego.  I don't want to be in pain the whole time and unable to to walk around the zoo or Lego Land or wherever else we go.  I want to be able to focus on having fun and seeing the sights, not how my foot/knee/body hurts. 

I also don't want to be self-conscious about the way I look.  I think I worry about that more now than I ever did before.  Maybe because now I know how I look at a healthy weight.  And I'm embarrassed by how I look now, I'm embarrassed that I have gained the weight back.  It makes me feel like a failure.  Which may be where a lot the worthless, self-loathing comes from.  I've been struggling with those feelings for several years now.  I've blamed those feelings on work, but maybe it has nothing to do with work.  Maybe those feelings are from gaining the weight back and feeling like I have failed.  Hmmmm.... that's something I haven't considered before.  

Wow... the posts this past week have seemed pretty bleak for someone who is getting back on track with eating and moving again.  But this is the first time, in a long time, that I've been honest with myself about what I have done and am doing to my body.  It's frightening.  When I was obese at 34, I didn't have any of the aches and pains I have now.  And that scares me.  Sure, some of that could be age, but I just think my body is rebelling from having to deal with all this weight again. I want to live another 35 to 40 years, and I don't want to live that time being tired, sick, emotional, fat, and lonely.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be a role model for the younger generation on how you should live a healthy life.  

I need this blog to keep me honest.  Keep me on track.  To help me discover all the things that are keeping me from being a healthy, happy soon-to-be 50-year old woman.  Discover, tackle, overcome, and move on.  

I won't be the ideal weight on my 50th birthday, I've come to accept that.  But I can be healthier than I am today.  And improvement is always a good thing.  So my goal for my 50th birthday is be able to walk 3 to 5 miles without pain.  It's a goal I will have to work for, but it's attainable.  

I got this! 

Going into Day 3

Finally... no headache this morning! 

After waking up with a headache for the last 5 days, it's a huge relief to wake up and not have the headache.  Keeping my fingers crossed I can make it through the day without getting one.  

Could it be the morning headaches were caused by the foods I was eating?  Or were they from environmental factors, such as dust in the air, cat dander, or stress from work or home?  I may not know, but if I continue on this path of eating healthier and getting out for walks, then maybe I can limit those headaches.  

Yesterday was another good day.  I met my three goals.  I tracked everything I ate, got out for two short walks (got me to my meager step goal), and drank all my water.  

Same goals for today.  Track, walk, water.  

Tomorrow may be a bit of a challenge since I will be home (taking a "just because" day off from work) and working on my online Lego store.  If I'm in the groove, I don't eat.  But some days, I'm continually going in the house for food.  Or, I do well in the morning, go in for lunch and end up spending the rest of the day on the couch and eating anything I can find. Will need to keep my three simple goals in mind throughout the day.  And plan several short walks around the neighborhood.  

Last night I had a mini-meltdown, which may have been me detoxing from junk food or just tired.  But I just felt this bubbling frustration at every little thing.  I finally calmed down, sat on the couch and just relaxed (without food!  Yea me!).  Once I did that, I was fine.  

I'm still not sleeping well.  Which is bit frustrating.  I was hoping with getting a bit more exercise and fresh air, that it would be easier to fall asleep.  But Tuesday night and last night were a struggle to get to sleep.  I seem to sleep okay once I get sleep, but I hate laying there wondering if I'm ever going to drift off to dreamland.

I think the most notable change of just two days of eating well, is my attitude at work.  I'm not as tired and drained, not as emotional, and have more energy to tackle whatever gets thrown at me.  Need to keep that in mind when I want to veer off course and have some junk food.  I have been absolutely miserable at work, but most of it was misery of my own making.  

Okay, this becoming a bit of rambling post today.  I haven't been linking these posts to Facebook.  Not sure why... maybe because they aren't all that humorous, inspiring or motivating.  Just me, rambling about getting back on track... again... I've posted many, many similar posts for the last five years and I'm sure my Facebook friends are tired of hearing about it.  Maybe once I feel I am truly back on track and ready to shout about my success, then I'll start linking the posts on my Facebook page.  Until then, this will be a more of online journal.  If someone has stumbled across this blog and read this far, please, see the list below of more entertaining posts I have done!  :-) 

Off to have a good day and to reach my three simple goals.  I got this! 

Follow up to Confession Time

Day 1 was a success!

I had three goals, to track (check), to drink water (check) and to move more than the day before (check).  

And though it may have all been mental, I felt better.  I started the day with the headache, but ended the day feeling energized and alert.  Something I haven't felt in a long time.  

It dawned on me this morning that it's my best month to do this.  April has always been my milestone month.  In April of 2004, I started Weight Watchers and my 6 year journey to lose the weight.  In April of 2006, I met my husband.  In April of 2010, I reached my 100 pound weight loss milestone and completed my first half marathon.  I couldn't have picked a better month to get back on track.

The only bad part about my day is it took over 30 minutes to fall asleep last night.  I listen to a meditation app on my phone to help me sleep and I'm usually asleep within the first 8 minutes of the 15 minute meditation.  Last night I listened to two of them and was still awake. And I woke up with another headache this morning.

Ugh.... these headaches.  That is probably my main reason for getting back to eating healthy and exercising.  I've had a headache of some sort nearly every day since mid-December.  I've missed work, fun time with family and friends, and feel  drained of energy.  And I know most of that is caused by the crap I'm putting in my body.  

After missing both a birthday party and a visit with a friend on Sunday because of the headache, it started me to thinking I really needed to do something.  Then on Monday I was talking with my supervisor at work and she mentioned she had a weight loss goal for the next year.  Which lead to a long discussion about weight, health and weight loss.  I went home Monday and continued to eat, but thought a lot about what was talked about and how I was feeling.  I woke up yesterday ready to do something.  

I have a couple of long term goals in the back of my mind but my short-term, just for today goals, are the same as yesterday.  Track, walk, water.  Three simple little goals.  At this point I don't really care about the calorie count, it's more about getting back into the habit of tracking my food intake.  I'm not concerned about reaching the 10,000 steps a day, but more about just getting out of the office for a couple of short walks during the day.  And drinking any water would be an improvement over drinking none during the day.  

I need to focus on just today.  Quit thinking about tomorrow, or next month, or next year.  Just today.  One day at a time.  

I would love to be under 200 pounds when we go on vacation in September, but more importantly, I need to have the energy to be able to walk, sight see, and not feel exhausted or in pain by the end of the day.  So boosting my energy level and getting in walking shape is more important than the number on the scale. 

Not that I will give up my scale.  I stepped on it this morning and I am down 1.6 pounds from yesterday.  Now that I see I can lose weight,  I will stay away from the scale for a week or so... or longer if I can hold out.  I don't want the scale to be the only judge of how I'm doing.  

So, here's to another good day of focusing on three simple goals.  

Confession time

As of this morning, I weigh 224 pounds.  

I am just 28 pounds away from starting weight.  It took me over 6 years to lose the weight and four years to put it back on.  

What happened?  Well... I could say it's stress from my job, stress of working full time and

keeping up with a successful internet business, family, life got busy, blah, blah, blah...

What it comes down to, is I'm great at making excuses.  I have an excuse for everything.  

What don't I exercise? My right knee hurts, my left foot hurts, I don't have time.

Why don't I eat healthy foods?  Ummm.... well, this one I don't have an excuse for (let's come back to this one after I've had time to come up with an excuse).

Why don't I track food on myfitnesspal.com? Scott makes the dinners, so I don't know what's in it, so I can't track it.  It takes too much time. 

Why don't I go back to Weight Watchers?  I don't have the time or the money.

Why don't I drink my water?  Huh... this one stumps me like the healthy food one... no excuse comes to mind.

Why don't I just get out and walk for 5 to 10 minutes?  It's too cold, too hot, too windy.  I'm too busy.  I will walk in a few minutes (which never happens).

See... excuses.  Lots and lots of excuses.  

Basically, I gave up.  I decided that other stuff was more important than me and my health.  

So, is today the day I turn everything around?  Honestly, I don't know.  I've spent the last two or three years, getting up in the morning and telling myself that today is the day.  Today is the day I track, drink my water, and get out for a walk.  And I might do it.  Heck, I might even do it for 3 or 4 days in a row... then something happens.  I don't know what, I can't remember what gets me off track.  Another excuse, more than likely.

It's frustrating.  VERY frustrating.  I lost 120 pounds.  I kept it off for 4 years.  I am capable of losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight.  So why don't I?  God, I wish I knew.  

Here I sit.  Again.  Blogging about my struggles.

Today may be the day.  I have to start somewhere.  I'm starting small.  Focusing on today.  


What can I do today?  Track. Drink Water. Get more steps than yesterday.  Small, attainable goals.  

One day at time.  One moment at time.

Maybe I'll even come back to tomorrow and let you know how I did.  

And maybe I'll have an excuse for why I haven't been eating healthy foods and drinking my water.