Why don't I listen?

I am now on day 63 (week 9) of changing my behaviors.  And things are going well.  I've learned that I need to eat at the table, eliminate daily intake of junk food (everyday = bad, occasionally = good), and limit the snacks (snack being a healthy food such as fruit, not the junk food I used to consider a snack). I am much more active, I take 30 minute walks in the morning and 10 to 20 minute walks in the evening, I stretch regularly, and have made Saturday morning hikes part of my routine.  Yep, things are going well...

...except....

I still don't listen!  One of the biggest changes I am trying to make is to listen to my body.  To listen for the cues that tell me when I have had enough to eat.  These cues are subtle so you really need to pay attention.  Something I struggle with everyday.  I did well with listening early on, but lately, I've been turning a deaf ear and a blind eye to the cues my body is sending.  I ignore the subtle "eating pause" and continue on eating.  I am eating food just because it's there, not because I'm hungry.  If there is food on my plate or in my bowl, I eat it.  Do I need to eat it?  Nope.  But that doesn't stop me.  

In the last couple of weeks, I have let the bad habit of eating "because the food is on the plate" creep back into my life.  I find myself eating quickly and not even tasting the food I'm shoveling into my mouth.  I'm eating past "satisfied" and eating until I'm full.  I am not listening.  I'm also letting distractions back into my meal times.  First it was reading something on my phone, then it was watching a video, and several times I've eaten my snack on the couch while watching TV.  

It's amazing how fast I let these little behaviors back into my life.  Just little things, yes, but could quickly get me back to where I was before.  Eating fast and furious, while doing other activities.  Which then leads to eating the wrong foods... and back to where I started. 

I am trying.  Today I left a bit of my breakfast on the plate and reminded myself that if I am hungry in an hour or two, I can heat it up and finish it.  It's a start.  I now need to break myself of the habit of reaching for my phone while I'm eating.  The email can wait.  The text can wait. The Google search can wait.  That amusing article on Buzzfeed can wait.  There should be nothing distracting me while I am eating.  It is the only way I am going to break the bad habit of eating quickly and mindlessly.  I need to focus on the food in front of me and listen to my body.  It will tell me when I'm satisfied, but I won't hear it if I'm doing other stuff.  If whatever is on my phone is more important than focusing on my food, then I need to wait to eat. 

There is one way I am listening to my body... when it comes to my activity.  I am hyper-sensitive about the cues my body gives me (soreness, aches, pains) while I am walking or hiking.  My biggest fear is that I won't listen to my body and will end up with the knee pain (and/or foot pain) that plagued me before and caused me to stop running.  My whole motivation for eating healthy and getting to a healthy weight is so I will be able to run again.  That means taking it slow and listening to my body; walking slower when necessary, taking breaks during the hike, and modifying the stretches when it goes from a stretch to a pain.  It also means, when I'm feeling good, I can increase my walking speed (maybe even jog a step or two) and I can increase the range of  my stretches.  

The cues are there... I just need to listen.  

RS and WK

(back) LS, (front) MM, KR, WK and me