Mindful Eating (and Day 17 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

I tend eat mindlessly.  And I do this a lot.  I eat while I'm working.  I eat while I'm reading.  While on the computer, in front of the TV, and texting on my phone.  When I am distracted, I eat mindlessly, and tend to overeat. 

This is one of many reasons why I continue to struggle to maintain my weight.  I have broken some habits over the years.  I no longer eat and drive (okay, occasionally on long trips, but not on errands around town).  My husband and I, for the last year, have turned off the TV during dinner.  We focus on our food and enjoy some time to just sit and talk with one another. 

So I am capable of change. 

But I still have a long way to go.  I have tried, for short periods of time, to eat every meal and snack at the kitchen table with no distractions.  I can do it, and I always feel much better when I do.  I am more aware of what I'm eating, when I feel satisfied, and if I'm really hungry or not.  When I have to mindfully stop what I'm doing, and make the time to sit at the table to eat, I often found that I really wasn't that hungry.  That I would rather continue with whatever I was doing then stop to eat. 

Last night was one of those nights that I should have incorporated my "sit at the table with no distractions" rule.  Instead, I spent the time after dinner grazing through the cupboards.  Ate handfuls of granola while standing at the counter.  Ate my apple and nutbutter while reading (but I was at the table with TV off... maybe I get half credit for that...?).  Ate kale chips while watching TV.  And dang near gave in and had one of the Ferrero Rocher chocolates from the freezer.

And here's the kicker.  I ate all that, and I wasn't even hungry.  I was tired.  So I was grazing through food (granted, on-plan food... just way too much for one evening), eating mindlessly, I wasn't hungry, wasn't enjoying the food, and I felt twinges of guilt for overeating. 

This is one of the bad habits, I would very much like to break.  I would like to get to the point I only eat when I'm hungry.  I want to listen to my body, wait for the hunger cues, and then eat.  I want to be focused on what I'm eating, eat slowly, enjoy it, savor it, and stop eating when I'm satisfied. 

I don't want to eat distractedly because "it's time to eat" or because the food is sitting in front of me (or near me).  I want to be in control of when and what I eat.  I don't want to feel like outside forces are controlling my actions. 

How do I break the habit?  Good question.  I know what I need to do.  I need to go back to my "sit at the table with no distractions" rule.  I need to slow down and focus on the food.  Much easier to think about doing it than actually doing it.  But I will work on it breaking the habit of grazing, of mindless eating, of eating when I'm not hungry.  And then maybe... just maybe... one of these days it will be a habit to only eat when I'm hungry and eat mindfully.

Does my grazing mean that Day 16 wasn't a success?  Nope.  It was a success because I stuck to on-plan food and I did not give into the chocolate temptation.  Instead of continuing to graze, I made some tea.  And I went to bed early.  So in my book, it was still a success.

And Day 17 is headed in that direction as well.




 

Snacks vs. Treats (and Day 16 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

Had another successful day yesterday.  I was able to get a 6 mile run done in the morning and got to run with my Hubby and my friend, Juli.  The long runs always seem to go by so much faster when I have people to talk to.

I did spend quit a bit of time sitting yesterday because I went to the theater and saw "Gone With The Wind" on the big screen.  I've always loved that movie and to be able to have the chance to see it on the big screen was a wonderful opportunity. 

Watching that movie in the theater did bring up a bit of a challenge.  The movie is four hours long, so I would need some sort of snack to get me through it.  I smuggled in some homemade granola, carrots, a green apple and a serving of cheese.  More than enough to get me through movie.  But more importantly, it kept me away from movie theater popcorn.  Which is love! 

Logically, I know how bad that popcorn is for me (especially when I get the extra butter).  I also know that as much as I love the popcorn, my body doesn't process it well and I end up feeling yucky, or downright miserable, the next day.  So I only get movie theater popcorn about 3 or 4 times a year.  Just enough to keep my taste buds happy, but I don't feel miserable after every trip to the movies.

I now consider movie theater popcorn as a treat, not a snack.

What's the different between a treat or a snack?  Prior to joining Weight Watchers, for me, there was no difference.  Snacks were treats.  Cookies, pastries, chips, candy, ice cream.  Treats were snacks. 

It's only been since switching to clean eating, that I have come to realize there is a difference.  Snacks should be healthy foods used to help with the hungry feeling between meals.  A treat is food you only have occasionally, something you shouldn't be eating on a daily basis.  So, all the foods that I used to consider snacks, were actually treats.

Even though I now have a clear distinction between snacks and treats, it doesn't mean I always make the best choices when I'm looking for something to "tide me over" until the next meal.  Old habits (especially ones I've had since childhood) are hard to break.  And when that feeling to have a snack comes over me, my first thought is something high in sugar and/or carbs.  I don't immediately think, "yes, veggies... I should eat carrots."  I have to go through this mental dialogue, reminding myself what a snack really is, figuring out which healthy food will keep me satisfied until the next meal but at the same time help with any craving I may be having. 

Sometimes I make the right choice, but other times, the mental dialogue takes a turn and I end up making a not-so-good choice.  I usually try and justify the treat by telling myself that I deserve it ("I ran three miles this morning..."), for comfort ("this cookie will make me feel better..."), or I bargain for it ("I'll eat healthy the rest of the day..."). 

And what happens when I eat the treat instead of a snack?  One of two things.  I either feel bad for eating it, then eat something else to ease my guilt, and start that vicious cycle or it triggers my sugar/carb cravings and I continue to eat badly the rest of the day.

However, if I eat a snack, then I just eat it, feel satisfied without the guilt or cravings, and I can move on with my day.

Following the 21 Day Sugar Detox has helped a lot, by taking the choices out of my hands.  I have a few on-plan snacks and though there are "non-sweet treat" recipes in the cookbook, I haven't had a craving or desire strong enough to make them yet.  I may make some after the detox and have them in the freezer so if I do get the hankering for a treat, I will be better prepared to handle it.

Halfway through day 16 of the detox and still going strong.  No reason why I can't finish the detox now, only 5 days to go and our meals and snacks are planned out between now and then.  Going to keep positive and keep moving forward.

Food Allergies? (And Day 15 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

Yesterday was the end of my 2nd week on the detox.  I did well with my eating, but keeping busy all day helped a lot so I wasn't focused on my next meal or snack.  Two weeks down and just one more to go.  With the exception of few cravings and one day of feeling bloated, the detox has gone very well.  Better than I expected.  And surprisingly easy to stick to.  

It will be interesting to see how I handle the end of the detox, if I am able to continue to limit my sugar intake and keep certain foods to a minimum... and stay away from Starbuck's Vanilla Bean Frappes.  

This week I will be conducting an experiment of sorts because I believe I may have a food allergy I wasn't aware of before now.

Let me back up a bit, to give you the whole story.

In July, my husband and I decided to try a diet that is void of grains.  We ate up the last of our pasta and bread, and going forward started using veggies (spaghetti squash, zucchini noodles, even Daikon radish) as noodles.  My Hubby tried his hand at making some bread using almond flour, but eventually we learned we didn't need bread of any kind in our diet.  

The end of July, we decided to try the Practical Paleo Fat Loss menu plan for 30 days.  This gave us a great way to start the Paleo lifestyle, looking up the answers to questions we had about certain foods, finding out what foods were considered okay and what foods should be avoided.  And finding out there is a lot of "gray" area, which is where the individual needs to decide if they need or want certain foods in their diet.  

Around the first or second week of August, both my husband and I started to break out with bites all over our bodies, from our necks to our knees.  Because we foster kittens during the summer, we immediately thought it might be fleas.  We checked the kittens and our own cats and none of them were infested.  So I Googled bug bites to see what it might be (had I been thinking I would not have done this search while eating lunch... blech!).  We live in area where there are no chiggers (though chigger bites looked close to what my Hubby and I had), and bed bugs seemed unlikely.  

But, to be on the safe side, we stripped the bed and washed everything.  Still the bites and bumps continued.  So we bought new sheets and threw the old ones out.  More bites.  Hubby and I scoured the mattress for any sign of bugs (with our noses practically pressing against the mattress looking at every cat hair and piece of lint).  Nothing.  Perplexed, we began questioning what soaps, shampoos, and detergent we were using.  Since Hubby and I have our own bathrooms, and have our own preferences on soap and shampoos, we didn't have those in common.

Detergent.  My Hubby had bought the same brand he always does, but a different scent.  Ah ha!  We switched back to the normal scent and the bites and bumps began to fade.  Just with an occasional small flair up, but we assumed we had worn something that washed in the "bad" detergent.  

We continued on with our lives, eating Paleo, using the old detergent and all is good.  

Until the detox.  Toward the beginning of the detox, Hubby had a small flair up.  End of the second week, I have a small flair up.  

Hubby has been doing some reading on eating Paleo/Primal and he came across some information that seemed to put some light on our "bites."  Apparently, food allergies can be masked by the intake of glutton.  So, once you quit eating glutton it is possible that food sensitivities or allergies will come to light.  That made sense to us.  The bites started about the time we moved to a more strict Paleo lifestyle.  And since the detox is elimination type diet, it cleared up whatever was causing the bites.

So why did I have flair up in the past few days?  I have mentioned in a couple of posts about snacking a bit more in the evenings than I probably should have... well, I had been snacking on a serving of raw nuts.  We have been using some nuts in recipes (walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts, sunflower seeds), but the raw nut mix I have been eating have walnuts, macadamia nuts, pistachios, and a large amount of almonds.  Since I started eating the raw nut mix again, I have had more "bites."  

What was my go-to snack in August when my bites were at their worse?  Raw nuts.  Sometimes two servings a day.

Coincidence?  Or food allergy?

I am going to stay away from the raw nuts for the next week and see if this flair up continues again.  Then I will add nuts back into my diet, one at a time, and see which one it is.  I am thinking it may be almonds, which is the prevalent nut in the mix.  Almond flour is also used in quite a few of the recipes, and we've eating it a bit more in the last few days because of the recipes we are making.

Hubby may have some type of food allergy as well, but he hasn't been able to figure out the trigger food is yet.

And of course, there is always possibility that is something else in our house causing the issues... a bug, a detergent, a cleaning product.  We will keep trying different things until we find the culprit.

If anyone has any ideas on what it might be, I would love to hear from you.  We just want the itching to stop!  

Didn't give in... (and Day 14 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

My wonderful Hubby and I
(Summer 2014)

I'll admit it, yesterday was probably the toughest day I've had on the detox.  I was tired, bored, and not feeling well (I have uterine fibroids and I'm having a pretty major flair up this week... sorry if that's a little TMI, but it is what it is).  And I wanted to snack on something other than veggies or turkey jerky.


Thankfully Juli kept me encouraged in the afternoon and my Hubby continued the encouragement in the evening.  It was hard.  In the afternoon I was craving salty foods (chips, preferably) and after dinner I wanted chocolate.  Didn't help that we did our weekly grocery shopping and Walmart loves to push the snacks at the check out line.  I wasn't sure if my Hubby was helping me or torturing me when he picked up a package of pre-made brownies.  No, he wasn't going to buy them, he read off the two first ingredients... sugar and vegetable oil.  Then he asked how would feel after eating that.  He was right.  I would feel emotionally bad for giving in, but I would probably feel a little sick after not having that stuff for nearly two weeks.  

I did have a few more on-plan snacks than I normally would in the evening, but in the scheme of things, I did pretty well.

Having people to count on and who will support me when I need it, is an wonderful feeling.  I know a lot of people that say they don't get support from the people around them, but I have to wonder if they ask for help.  Do they explain what they need in order to feel supported?  Do they ask for help when they are teetering on the brink of giving in?  Have they sought out like-minded people who understand what they are going through?

I am still learning to ask for support, to mention I'm struggling, to seek advice, or a shoulder to cry on.  I don't always do that, and I always regret it when I don't.  I have a lot of friends who would gladly tell me to step away from temptation (even have a couple of friends that would threaten to kick me in the butt if I didn't!). 

Why don't I always ask for help?  That's a good question, with many answers.  I think for the most part, when I don't ask for help it's when I don't want to be helped.  I want to give into the craving or to overeat.  I want to wallow... and I want to wallow with food.  If I ask for help, then I can't do that.  Self-sabotage?  Yep.  Why do I do it?  I haven't clue.  When I do get into a funk of overeating, I know I shouldn't be doing it, feel unable to stop, and I'm ashamed.  I feel like people will think less of me, that I've failed them.  When I "confess my sins" later, my friends are understanding, because they have been there too. 

For me to reach out to Juli and tell her I was feeling tempted was a big deal.  Sure, I've done that before, but every time I make that effort it gets a little easier the next time to ask for help.  My Hubby never told me that I couldn't give in and have a treat but framed it in such a way to remind me why I was doing this detox to begin with. 

Even after 10 years on this journey to lose and maintain my weight, I am still learning about myself and my relationship with food.  Everyday there is always something that reminds me I still have a lot more to learn.

But... day 13 was a success.  I ate a bit more than I should have, but it was on-plan food.  I didn't give in to comfort eating.  I asked for help when I needed it.  I persevered once again!

It's still very early on Day 14, so I can't even venture a guess how today will go.  I will be busy most of the day, with my errands and events starting at 7:30 this morning but I wanted to make sure I got a blog up for the day.  I orginally started to this blog with the hope of writing at least once a week.  But the daily blogs have really helped me stay on track with the detox.  Helps to give me perspective... and reminds me if I did well yesterday, I can do well today, too.

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!  And thanks to my friends who have continued to read my daily ramblings.  I really appreciate all your love and support you give me and have given me over the years.  I couldn't have come this far without you!

Changes (and Day 13 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

I do not like change.

I have certain places I like visit, vacation, camp and hike.  Why?  They are familiar to me.  I know what to expect when I go to those places.  My everyday life is the same way... I've had the same job for 15 years, I shop at the same places, my walks and runs are along the same routes, I've had the same hobbies for years, and I drive the same routes around town.

In the last few years, I've learned to go outside my comfort zone to do and try new things.  There is always a long, internal dialogue before I do these things, but in the end, I push myself to do them.  And, so far, I have not regretted doing so. 

My weight loss is a lot like that.  I was hesitant about starting my weight loss journey.  Why?  I knew I would have to change the way I eat, how much, and what I was eating.  So for a very long time, I continued to eat as I always had, just ate less of it.  Eventually, over time (and with more internal dialogue going on), I started replacing the unhealthy choices for healthier ones. 

I have been with Weight Watchers since April of 2004 (and had joined numerous times between 1993 and then), so I have seen a lot of changes with the way WW deals with weight loss.  WW updates their program every couple of years to keep up with the latest nutritional science and to keep the program fresh and new.  As a long time member, I had a few heart stopping moments when they announced a "Brand New Program."  What?  Why?  The old one was working for me!  Eventually, I came to think of these new programs as a way to restart my weight loss and get me out of the rut I was in.  I was learning to accept change.

At some point, the WW programs just weren't working for me.  I clung to the program because it's what I knew.  What I was familiar with.  Why change if it had worked for me for nearly 7 years? 

After gaining 5 to 10 pounds back, I had to admit, the WW program wasn't working for me in maintenance mode.  I had to find something new.  I had to ... *gasp*... change.  So I started counting calories.  Which lead to clean eating.  To SANE eating (via The Calorie Myth).  To Paleo.  And here I am at Day 13 of the 21 Day Sugar Detox.  To say my eating has changed, is an understatement.  My eating has taken a major overhaul.  And it was surprisingly easy. 

The Gun Runners at Tough Mudder Nashville 2014

Over the last year, I have made other changes.  As I was getting used to thinking of myself as runner, I was asked to join a Tough Mudder Team.  Me?  I'm a slow runner, at best.  And that would be something different.  That would be a change.  And I would be on a team with people I had never met in real life before.  I had spoken to one of them via Skype and email, but that was it.  Plus, I would fly nearly across the country to be part of this team.  Me.  The person that doesn't like change.  Doesn't like to go to unfamiliar places.  But here I was, agreeing to all of it... and happily agreeing. 

What happened when I made this big change?  I had FUN!  I met new people, I did things I never would have believed possible.  I had never really played sports growing up, but at age 44, I was part of team.  It was an amazing experience.  One that got me to thinking.... maybe change isn't all bad. So far, all my changes have brought me happiness, fulfillment, and a feeling of pride and accomplishment.

Maybe I need to rethink my attitude about change.  I can start small.  Maybe change the layout of the blog...

******************
Day 12 of the detox went okay.  Did well with our eating out and made some healthy on-plan choices.  Though I don't think I got enough protein with my dinner (and the salad was iceberg lettuce, not green leafy lettuce), so I was hungry after dinner.  I stuck to the planned snack, ate a handful nuts, and went to bed early.

Day 13 is progressing well.  Though this afternoon may be a bit of a challenge.  Still 3 1/2 hours until I go home, a quiet, rainy, Friday afternoon at work... that would normally have me running to the vending machines.  (Guess it's a lucky break I left my change in the car, no money means no snacks!)  I still have a couple of healthy snacks with me so I just might make it through Day 13 as well!

My Love/Hate of the Scale (and Day 12 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

It's Thursday, and for me, that's my official weigh in day at Weight Watchers.  Last week was pretty discouraging with a 3.4 pound gain.  I didn't give up on the detox, continued with my walking and running, and did everything I needed to do to have a good week, both physically and emotionally.

It was a much better weigh in today.  I lost 4.2 pounds.  I lost what I gained, plus a little more.  That's better! 

But, why after all this time on my weight loss journey, am I still focused on a number on the scale?  I try not to let the scale be the final judge and jury of how I'm doing, yet I do.  A bad number can cause me to go off plan for a day... or days, weeks even.  A good number, then I take that as a sign I can eat a bit more in celebration of my loss.  Such a vicious cycle.  Which is why my Hubby has removed the scale from the house.  During the week I have no idea what I weigh, I can't just peak at the scale to see how I'm doing, I have to rely on other methods to judge how I'm doing.  How do my clothes fit?  How do I feel?  How is my energy level?  Am I feeling hungry or full most of the time?  These should be the way to tell how I'm doing, but in the end, I still let the scale make the final decision.

The scale doesn't know what I did or did not do during the week.  The scale doesn't know if I drank my 64 oz of water everyday.  The scale doesn't know if I met my step goal, ran 6 miles, or hiked up a large hill.  The scale doesn't know that I stuck to plan and avoided comfort eating. 

So why does the scale get to tell me how I'm doing?

Simple.  Because I let it.  I let an inanimate object determine my worth.  How dumb is that?  This little gadget can ruin my day or make me feel like a million bucks.  It can make me shed tears of frustration or tears of happiness. 

Since Hubby has packed our scale away, the one at the house no longer has that control.  But the one at the Weight Watcher meeting room still does.  I tell myself every week that it doesn't matter what the scale says, I am successful because I walked through those doors.  I am successful, because each and every day, I do my best to stay on plan.  Those are my thoughts, right up to the moment I step on the scale.  Then the number because the focus, the reason for continuing, the reason for being there.  For that moment, my life revolves around a number that will change five to six times in a day, can be up or down by three pounds by the next morning. 

Do I have a solution for this obsession?  Nope.  I am happy with the fact that I have narrowed that obsession down to a few minutes once a week, instead of twice a day, everyday.  That's progress.  Maybe someday I can get to the point that the number doesn't matter, but I'm not there... yet.

As for the detox.  Yesterday did end up being a challenge, but I made it through!  I wanted to comfort eat, but with limited food on hand, I wasn't able to.  I had some cravings to eat in the afternoon, by then I was tired and wanting to eat to stay awake.  Last night I got through the evening because Hubby and I went to the movie and I was limited to what I snuck in with me.  (Yes, I know you shouldn't sneak in food, but there is nothing at the snack bar that I could eat and stay on program.  But we did buy water there.)

Now on to Day 12.  Can't believe I am over halfway through the detox and have not gone off plan!  Still feel good, energetic, and even happy.  Though, my thoughts are now drifting to what will happen once the detox is done.  For now, I'll just take it one day at time!

Comfort Eating (and Day 11 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

Day 10 of the detox went pretty good.  Got the munchies in the afternoon, so I ate a bunch of veggies to hold me over until dinner.  I wasn't necessarily hungry, just had that need to eat something.  So reaching for veggies was a much better option than I would have done in the past.  Had an awesome dinner, we made the Cabbage Rolls and Dipping Sauce from the 21 Day Sugar Detox Cookbook.  Couldn't believe how good they were!  The food in the cookbook is amazing and I would suggest buying it, even if you don't do the detox.

I did get a sugar craving last night.  Hit right before bedtime, so I'm sure it was more from being tired than an actual craving.  I made some herbal tea and crawled into bed instead of scrounging through the cupboards and refrigerator for some plan appropriate snack.

Today is going to be a challenge for me.  I'm not feeling well.  And I am an comfort eater (and emotional eater).  When I don't feel well, I try to eat to make myself feel better.  This never works.  But I try it each and every time I don't feel well.  You would think at age 45 I would know better.  Nope.  I keep eating, sure that some food or combination of foods will help alleviate whatever ache or pain I may have.  Getting through the day without falling into this habit is going to be difficult.  Luckily I only have my planned meals with me and two snacks, so no over eating.  (Before I started the detox I went through all my food stashes here at work and gave them to my Hubby for safe keeping until the end of the 21 days.)  I see lots of water and herbal tea in my future.  I will do what I need to get through the day.

Comfort and emotional eating is probably my biggest problem and what holds me back from maintaining a healthy weight.  Any little emotion can send me over the edge and have me scrounging for foods I really shouldn't be eating.  And once I do that, the cycle of eating-self loathing-depression-eating takes over.  And it's very hard to break that cycle once I get into it.  That was another reason I wanted to try this detox.  I was hoping that by breaking my sugar and carb cravings, I could maybe get a better grasp on the emotional eating.  When my choices are limited, it makes it harder to just give in to the emotional eating.  I am forced to find other outlets instead of food... I can go for a walk, talk to a friend, take a hot bath, or take a nap.  Whatever is needed that doesn't involve food.

Day 11 is starting out as a challenge, but with some planning, positive thoughts, and little luck, I will persevere.

Support and accountibility (and Day 10 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

I love walking. 

I tolerate running, and at some moments in my run I might even enjoy it, but if I had to pick just one activity I could do to stay active, it would walking. 

Walking is easy, it's relatively painless (I say that because I remember trying to go for walks at my heaviest weight), and fairly inexpensive (yes, some walking shoes are expensive, but not necessary).  You can do it anywhere.  You can do it alone, with a friend or with a group.  You can plug in your earphones and listen to your favorite music, podcast or audio book; or you can listen to the sounds of nature (or the symphony of urban noise).  You can walk in the city, around your block, in the woods, or over a mountain.

I love walking.

But I don't always do it, even though I know I need to.  I get in the mindset of, "I'll go for a walk later" but later never happens.  Or I use excuses, "it's too cold,"  "it's too hot," "it looks like rain," etc.  I have a million excuses. 

Walking Group - Kay, Nancy, Barb & Linda

To help keep the excuses to a minimum, I have build up a support system of friends to whom I am accountable.  On Tuesday mornings, I meet up with an awesome group of women (I met them all at Weight Watchers meetings) for an early morning walk before work.  Once you know people are counting on you to be there, then you make more of an effort to go.  And you show up, because you know if you don't they will ask why you weren't there (and the "too cold" or "too hot" excuse doesn't fly if they made the effort to be there!).  We spend about thirty minutes walking around a local park; we talk, laugh, vent, and dispense advice.  It's a great way to start a morning and always boosts my mood and makes the day more enjoyable. 

I do a majority of my walking on my breaks at work.  I have a very sedentary job (8 hours a day staring at computer monitors), so my breaks are very important to me.  I make sure I take them and I make sure I am moving during my breaks.  I generally go for a quick walk in the morning and afternoon, and I recruit co-workers to walk with me.  The more people I can drag along with me, the more likely I am to go.

My lunchtime walking buddy, Windy

Lunchtime is my long walk with my friend, Windy.  I met Windy at Weight Watchers years ago (I think she started several months after I did), but it was several years before we started talking and realized we had friends in common and also shared a lot of the same interests.  A couple of years ago, we started walking together on our lunch break.  Our offices are about a half mile apart, but we meet up, do a big loop of about 2 miles before going to back to our jobs.  I love walking with Windy because I know that whatever I am going through in regards to weight loss, she understands.  She is part of the 100 Pound Weight Loss club (Woo Hoo!!), so she is a great person to talk with (or cry, or vent, or whatever).  Most of our talks center around our weight, issues we are having, challenges we are facing, struggles we are going through.  We discuss different ways of eating (Weight Watchers, clean eating, Paleo, etc) and how to incorporate that into our lifestyles.  Windy reminds me that I don't need be perfect, I just need to keep at it and never give up.  We encourage, motivate, and inspire each other.  Most of all, we are accountable to one another.  We push each other to try harder and do more. 

Even if you don't have the support and encouragement in your life now, don't give up.  Keep looking, talk to people, and learn to ask for help/support.  And if all that fails, then go for a walk.  You'll feel better and you'll never know who you might meet along the way.

Now, to switch gears (no easy to way to transition into it today), Day 9 of the 21 Day Sugar Detox went well, but I didn't have any challenges or cravings.  Just another day.   I am still amazed at how good I feel.  I haven't had many cravings, I haven't been tempted to cheat or go off plan, and I just feel happier and less obsessed about food.   I think even Hubby is impressed with my attitude and how much less emotional I have been since starting the detox.  Feeling very confident about finishing the detox without too many setbacks, and even if I don't, I'll focus on what I have accomplished.

On to Day 10 and I'm off to a good start!

Defining Success and Day 9 - 21 Day Sugar Detox

This past Saturday I was asked to speak at the Weight Watcher meeting.  This is not an unusual request, I generally get asked to speak once or twice a year.  I enjoy doing it because I know that members have gone through, are going through, or will go through some of the same experiences as I have had.  I like to let them know that I did not lose the weight quickly, but that it took me 6 years, during which time I gained a lot of weight back before ultimately getting my goal.  For me, this my way to pay forward and to thank all the people that helped, motivated, and inspired me along my journey.

I was to speak for two to three minutes about success.  There were a set of three or four questions I was to answer in that time frame, but I asked the leader if I could just speak. 

I had thought a little about what I wanted to say.  Originally, I was just going to answer the questions and describing my "success" as reaching my goal and how I plan to maintain that, etc. 

Don't get me wrong, getting to goal is a huge success.  It's a great accomplishment and should be celebrated as such. 

But I know, from experience, that focusing on getting to goal (especially when you have a lot of weight to lose), and thinking of that as the only "success" can actually be setting yourself up to fail.

Losing weight is hard.  I believe that the little successes we have along the way should be celebrated, especially on days when we don't seem be doing well.  That is when focusing on the small success is crucial.  If I didn't follow my food plan for the day but drank my 8 cups of water, that's a success.  I didn't feel well, but I went out for a walk anyway, that's a success.  I gained weight but I show up at the WW meeting and weigh in anyway, that's a success.  

It was all the little successes along the way that got me goal.  Yes, getting to goal was a success, but for me it was the weeks (months) that I continued to go the WW meetings despite my constant weight gain that was success.  It was the hanging in there and realizing the little changes I made to be a healthier that made me successful. 

Losing a 100 pounds and going from a couch potato to a runner is success, but I couldn't have accomplished that without all the little, daily successes. 

I am taking this same mindset and applying it to the detox.  I am not looking at completing all 21 Days as success, but thinking of each day, individually, as success.  I have gone nearly 9 days without sugar.  And whether or not I complete the next 12 days, I am still successful. 

Day 8 was a success for the fact that I completed my nine mile run (a tad off program with the running foods), made healthy choices when we went out to lunch, and remained on program all day.  Success!

And Day 9 is turning into a successful day as well. 

9 mile training run and Day 8 - 21 Day Sugar Detox

I signed up to get the daily emails from The 21 Day Sugar Detox from the website.  It has a lot of information, recipes, and motivation.  What I find interesting is the "what to expect" portion of the email.  Based on what day you are on, it gives you an idea of what symptoms you may be experiencing and how you may be feeling at that point in the detox.  I figured out I am about 2 days off from what the article stays (though they say in the book that the "what to expect" varies from person to person).  The Day 7 email stated I may experience bloating, which I experienced on Day 5.  Today's email, Day 8, says I may experience fatigue, which was what I was feeling on Day 6 (how else can I explain literally falling asleep at my scrapbook table on Friday night... I put my head down for a second and my Hubby was waking me up 15 minutes later!).  I didn't realize I had been experiencing some of the normal side effects of the detox, and more than I thought.

Sunday is my "long training run" day.  I generally run 6 to 11 miles on Sunday when training for a half marathon.  I was a little worried and anxious about this run, since this is my longest training run I have done in about 7 months and because of my knee hurting on my short run Friday morning.  But I survived.  It was slow, but I finished and that's what matters.

Fueling for (and during) this run, I decided to stick with what I know works.  It took me a
long time to figure what doesn't and doesn't work for me when it comes to fueling for long runs.  I am prone to dehydration, heat exhaustion, and migraines, so what I eat and drink is a fine balancing act.  I have slowly switched it up to make it fall in line with my new way of eating.  When I first started running, my pre-run food (for runs over 6 miles or longer) was a piece of toast with a half tablespoon peanut butter (at the time, that was Jif), a banana, and Propel Zero Water Mix-in.  As I transitioned to a more clean eating lifestyle I switched to a more natural peanut butter, and eventually to an all organic peanut butter with two ingredients, peanuts and sea salt.  The bread went from generic wheat, to multi-grain, to organic multi-grain, to bread from a local bakery that used just 5 ingredients.  Then Hubby  I gave up bread so I started putting the peanut butter on the banana.  Then we when we started eating Paleo, I switched to almond butter.  

My fuel during the run is vanilla gel and Jelly Belly Sports Beans.  This the one thing I have not changed.  And that was the one thing I wasn't sure I should do during the detox.  I did not want to switch to something new because I wasn't sure how I would react during and after the run.  After a lengthy discussion with Hubby (yep, this the the exciting stuff we discuss! LOL), I decided to stick with the normal things to get me through the run.  I know it's way off plan from the 21 Day Sugar Detox, but keeping myself healthy after the run is much more important than the detox.

During my runs I have been listening to the Balanced Bites Podcast, and coincidentally the podcast that I listened today during my run, the hosts were answering a question about fueling during long workouts.  The response to the question made me feel much better about my choice.  They said that the individual had to go with what works, and if gels worked, then use it.  Just be sure the pre-workout and post-workout foods were Paleo.  

So, at the five mile mark, I used the gel.  What I did not expect, was how I would feel eating a big dose of sugar after being sugar-free for 7 days.  About 10 to 15 minutes after I ate the gel, I realized my stomach was a bit upset.  Not bad, but noticeable.  That reaction has me rethinking about what I use to fuel during the run.  I may need reconsider my options.

After the run I usually have a 1/2 to a whole banana and another Propel Water mix-in, which I did today.  The Propel helps me to get the electrolytes I need, but today was the first time I noticed just how sweet that is!  Which means after just 7 days, my taste buds have changed enough for foods I used to eat regulary, to taste much sweeter.

I'm very happy I decided to do this detox because I am learning so much about myself and about how my body reacts to different foods.  

Just two more weeks to go... 

Cravings and mindless eating (and Day 7 - 21 Day Detox)

Yesterday, Day 6 of of the detox, I went through my first real cravings since starting the detox. 

I generally crave sugar after lunch and prior to the detox I would hit the vending machine or the cafeteria just down the hall from my office.  My afternoon snacking was getting so bad that I was walking out of the cafeteria with a 16 oz Vanilla Bean Frappe and 2 chocolate chip cookies.  I would tell myself it was "just this one time."  But I was telling myself that two or three times a week. 

Yesterday, after lunch, the craving for something sweet hit me.  My first thought was, "have some gum."  But then I remembered gum is on the No List.  I emailed a friend.  I sent instant messages to another friend.  I went for a walk.  I drank water.  I did not give into the craving, but it was with me most of the afternoon.  When I got home, I was still craving something sweet, so I finally decided to have a green apple.  That helped.  The craving wasn't gone, but it was manageable.  I still wanted something, though I wasn't necessarily hungry.  I thought carefully about what I could eat, what might help with the craving, and what would get me through until dinner.  I finally decided on some colorful mini peppers. 

As I was thoughtfully munching on the peppers, I was very much aware of what I was eating, how it tasted, and how I felt eating it. 

This was different from when I would casually give into my cravings.  Normally the craving would hit, I would find some type of sugary substance, then munch on it mindlessly.  And since I didn't pay attention to what I was eating and it had no satiety value, I would continue to have the cravings.  So I would repeat the process again.  Sometimes, I would continually repeat the process until I felt physically sick and would begin to beat myself up emotionally for being a "failure."

Since starting the detox, I have been very aware of the snacks I'm eating, how much, and when I eat them.  Since there are so few snacks on the program, I tend to sit quietly, with limited distractions, and savor the snack.  Which means I'm sending the signal to my brain that I'm eating, I'm eating slowly so I not only enjoy the snack, but find it filling. 

This has been an awesome revelation and one aspect I had not expected while doing the detox, not only is the program helping with my cravings, but also my mindless eating.

I am now mid-way through Day 7 of the detox.  A third of the way through this program.  And I'm still loving it. 

I remember when Juli told me about the 21 Day Sugar Detox back in April, I thought it was a dumb idea.  Give up sugar?  For 21 days?  Why would I even attempt that?  I should have know that my strong reaction to NOT wanting to do it, was a sign that maybe I was addicted to sugar and I wasn't willing to give it up.  Amazing how differently I feel just 5 months later.  Now I'm the one talking about it and spouting the benefits of doing the detox!

Day 6 - 21 Day Sugar Detox

Day 5 of the 21 Day Sugar Detox went well, even with going out to dinner.  Wasn't really hungry during the day, but was feeling hungry by the time we sat down to order dinner.  I did really well.  I ordered a burger, no bun or cheese, with lightly sautéed mushrooms and onions.  Plus a nice a side salad (with our homemade ranch dressing that we brought with us).  We did indulge in an appetizer of sweet potato fries, but I'm happy to report we didn't finish them all... and we didn't bring the leftovers home.  Sometimes it's really hard for me to do that because I feel I am wasting the food.  I have to keep reminding myself it's more of waste to continue to eat when I'm not hungry, just because the food is sitting in front of me.

Starting this blog early on Day 6 because I have a bunch of work I need to get done (darn job keeps getting in the way of my fun!).  Since it's early, I can't tell how this day will go.  I did sleep a bit better and got up for a short run this morning.  Set out to do a 2 mile run, but my knee started to hurt so Hubby suggested cutting the run short.  I will stretch (okay, I will try and remember to stretch) twice a day, so that I am able to complete our 9 mile training run on Sunday.  At this point it's more about completing the distance than the speed, but I certainly don't want to spent my entire Sunday morning walking 9 miles!



myself, Juli, and Sibyl
Salt Lake City Half Marathon 2012

Some good news though, my friend Juli (who is doing the Detox along with me) and I will be joined by another friend, Sibyl.  She's jumping in a bit late, but is excited to get started.  Both Juli and Sibyl have helped me in transitioning from the Standard American Diet to more of the clean eating and Paleo lifestyle.  It's also both them (along with Hubby) who encourage me to continue running and to try new things.

Sibyl has known me for years, so she knew me at my heaviest weight, when I major couch potato.  She was always encouraging me to get out for a walk or short hike, but it was so hard for me to keep up with her that I often refused making up one lame excuse after another.  When she switched jobs, we saw less of each other, but we rekindled our friendship a year after I started running.  We began running, along with Juli, once a week.  I remember one of our runs we were discussing the various races we had done and would like to do, then different things we wanted try and I started rattling off a list of things I wanted try such as kayaking, white river rafting, etc.  Sibyl laughed and said, "Really?  I tried for years to get you to do things... Who are you?  And what have you done with my friend, Stacy?"  It was at that moment I realized just how much I had changed since losing the weight.  I was no longer hiding at home, but out and about, trying new things, and seeing just what I am capable of doing. 

I appreciated all the help and support I have gotten from my friends over the years!

That's discouraging, but... (and Day 5 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

Okay, it says in the 21 Day Sugar Detox book to not weigh yourself during this process.  I also know, from reading blogs, comments, and the book itself that people doing the detox may gain weight. 

That being said, I weigh in at my Thursday morning Weight Watcher meeting nearly every week.  I do this to keep myself accountable, to have an idea of how I'm doing, and because my husband removed the scale from house (I was getting obsessive about the number on the scale).

I debated on just doing a "No Weigh In" or stepping on the scale.  I figured it wouldn't be any big deal to step on the scale since I have been eating healthy meals for the last four days.  I'd probably maintained since my last weigh in (on the 4th, didn't weigh in last week).  No biggie, right?

Ummmm... wrong.  I was up 3.6 pounds.  That was a bit of shock.  And of course, my first reaction was, "well, this isn't working!"  Then I had to remind myself that it says in the book that the detox is not for losing weight, it's for curbing the sugar cravings and basically rebooting your taste buds. 

Plus, I was able to think of a bunch of reasons why I my weight may have been up this week:

• My eating was out of control the previous two weeks (hence my reasoning for doing the detox)
• I haven't been sleeping well, I've been having bouts of insomnia and restless nights
• I drank my normal 32 oz of water when I woke up (I usually forgo that on weigh in days)
• I have been exercising more this week as I get back into my walking and running routine
• I woke up feeling bloated and gassy this morning (a little TMI, sorry, but it's true)

Any of those, or any combination of those could have caused the weight gain.

So yes, it was very discouraging to see such a large gain (especially knowing how long it takes me to lose weight), but I am not giving up on the detox.  As I told Hubby this morning, my weight may be up, but I already feel better by eliminating the sugar.  I am not as moody, I have more energy, and I'm not hungry all the time.  So that's what I'm going to focus on.  The positives.

Will I weigh in next week?  Probably.  I've been weighing in for over 10 years and I've seen more gains than losses.  The number on the scale doesn't define my week.  How I feel, physically and emotionally does.  And this week, both have been positive.

As for Day 4 of the detox, I did well, but I did "snack" a bit more than usual.  I blame that on being tired.  When I'm tired, I tend to eat to stay awake.  But other than that, was another good day.  And dinner was awesome!  (Actually, all the meals have been awesome)  I even took a picture of it because it looked so good when we set everything on the table. 

My Day 5 is going well.  Had the Pumpkin Spice Smoothie (which tasted okay, but not great), and that has kept me satisfied for over 5 hours.  I'm just now starting to think about eating lunch.  Hubby and I are going out to dinner tonight (Thursday is our Dinner Date night) so that may be a challenge.  He's doing the 21 Day Sugar Detox as well, so he will be able to help me make a healthy choice.

And, my friend and I may have another friend join us on this challenge.  Yea!  The more the merrier!  Or, some days... misery loves company! 

Me? A runner? You bet! (and Day 4 - 21 Day Sugar Detox)

I feel great.  I really didn't except to feel this good going into the detox, but it's an awesome feeling.  None of the usual negative side effects, I haven't felt hungry, my energy level is up, and I haven't had my usual irritability.  A lot of that has to be because my blood sugar level is spiking and crashing all day.  Amazing what happens when you give your body the whole, natural foods it craves. 

I think the thing I am loving the most, is I have been productive in the evenings.  Usually by the time I get home from work, I'm tired, irritable, and out of sorts; so all I want to do is crash on the couch and watch TV.  But the last couple of nights, I get home, help Hubby with the dinner (or make up the evening snack or prep breakfast for the next morning), get all the nightly chores done, and still have the energy to indulge in one of hobbies.  A wonderful feeling because I go to bed know that I had a good day and I'm looking forward to the next day.

This morning I did a 3.22 mile run.  Not that this was anything new for me, I've been running for over 5 years now.  It was, however, the first morning run I've done in quite a while.  More on that in a minute, first a little history about me and exercising...

As a kid I wasn't very active. I remember playing softball one year, but it was awful experience and I whined and complained so much my mom didn't make do it.  The sad part was, she never pushed me to try any other sports and somewhere along the line I began to think I was incapable of playing sports or being active.  It might have been a few cruel words from classmates or an overheard conversation between my mom and someone else.  I don't know.  I do know that I got it in my head I could not play sports or be athletic in any way.  Period.  End of discussion.  This mindset persisted for years and only fueled my weight problem.  I went from being "chunky" in grade school, to overweight in high school, obese in my 20's and morbidly obese into my 30's. 

Then I decided to lose weight.  And when you have a lot to lose, you really don't have to exercise much.  Most nutritionist will tell you that losing weight is about 20% exercise and 80% what you eat.  So I ate better (as in, less of the same junk food with the occasional healthy meals thrown in) and I managed to lose about 80 pounds with very little exercise (losing the weight took about five years, but I was continually dealing with my emotional eating during the time). 

Then in 2009, I started myself on a walking program. I decided I wanted to walk a 5K without feeling exhausted or getting a migraine. I had walked plenty of 5K's in the past, but never felt good when I got done. I started walking on my breaks at work and on my lunch hour. Slowly increasing the distance and pace. Then in April of 2009 I went with my Hubby (then boyfriend) to Salt Lake City because he was running the half marathon. While there I picked up a brochure about the running events at Walt Disney World and one of them caught my eye. A 5K run through the Animal Kingdom, followed by an obstacle course and scavenger hunt. Wow! How fun would that be? And I could walk a 5K, so how hard would it be to train to run a 5K?

Well, I found out! With my Hubby's help, I started out slow... I ran for 3 minutes the first day of training. And as someone who has never ran any significant distance in her life -- Oh man! I thought I was going to die before that 3 minutes was up. But like the walking, I slowly increased the time and distance and within 5 months, I was running 3.1 miles -- 5K!

Because life being what it is, my original goal to run the 5K at the Animal Kingdom was changed to running a 13K (8 miles) at Disney's Hollywood Studio, then changed to complete (with a combination of running and walking) a half marathon (13.1 miles) at Disneyland in September 2010.  And to prep for that race, I decided to run the half marathon at Salt Lake City (the same race Hubby did the year before).  This race is a combination of half marathon and full marathon, so the course is open much longer so no pressure to do 16 min/miles that the Disney races demand.  My first half marathon I completed in 2:58:42 with a pace of 13:38.  A good pace for a former couch potato and my first half. 

But something happened at that event.  I realized I could do it.  I could be a runner.  I could be an athlete.  And a fire was ignited. 

Since that first half marathon, I have completed 14 half marathons (in 4 years!), over 25 other foot races (ranging from 5K to 10 miles), plus a Tough Mudder event and an 23K Endurance Run over some steep trails in the Elkhorn Mountains. 

The weird part of my running obsession was that I did not feel like a runner until I completed my fifth half marathon.  I just was incapable of believing that I could be a runner.  But I was.  I am.  I am a runner.

Now, why was this morning running different from all my other training runs?  Because last March I tweaked my knee to the point I was unable to run.  I could walk until the cows came home, but that first step of running caused extreme pain.  I had no choice but to take a break from running... which meant no training for the Salt Lake City Half Marathon.  I ended up walking all 13.1 miles... and that hurt far worse than any run I had ever done.  I have been nursing my knee all summer, with very little running (which made doing the Tough Mudder interesting!) but lots of walking and hiking.  I only started running again toward the end of August.  Have done some runs here and there (and even made it through an 8 miles training run doing the run/walk method), but this morning was the first time I truly felt like I was getting back into the running groove. 

Yes, still a bit a knee pain, but now I have instructions on the stretches I need to do and I know during my run I can't sprint, just go at a slow, steady pace.  Just like my weight loss. 

Yep, it's lining up to be another good day! 

Day 3 - 21 Day Sugar Detox

Midway through Day 3 and I seem to be doing well.  I did notice a couple of things yesterday.   The first was that I was hungry early in the morning.  I usually eat breakfast any time between 8:30 and 10:00, but yesterday I was hungry at 7:30.  The second was that I got very sleepy around 2 in the afternoon.  To the point, I was ready to crawl under my desk to take a nap.  And the third thing I noticed was that I get this desire to eat.  Doesn't matter what food it is and it's not a craving.  More of a oral fixation.  I just want to be eating something.  Usually when I get that feeling (and I take the time to gauge my hunger level) I will chew gum.  But no gum on the 21DSD, so I suffered through by drinking water and decaffeinated tea. 

I did really well last night, but it helped that my partner in this detox (husband is doing it with me, but he doesn't get why I need to it) stopped by for a bit.  Made it easier to get through the night without snacking or doing my closet binging. 

Today is going smoothly.  I did wake up early (not sure if that's from the detox or just my weird sleep pattern) with a slight headache and I was afraid it would be an all day thing.  Made some black tea and that made the headache go away and I've felt good since. 

I haven't had any of the usual detox problems... no headaches, no mental-fogginess, or hunger during the day.  And no major cravings.  I think I may have had an edge with this detox since I have been limiting grains and processed foods for awhile, so it's not like I'm giving up a lot of the foods cold-turkey.  And even though my snacks were getting out control (sugary, processed goodness), my meals were still more Paleo than the Standard American Diet.

I conquered my one challenge for today... dining out for lunch.  I was meeting my sister-in-law for lunch, so I picked a place that I knew had healthy salads (which I ordered without cheese or dressing) and brought my own dressing (a recipe from the 21DSD).  I wasn't even tempted by the other foods.  Probably because I'm still in the honeymoon phase of the detox.

Spent a little time this morning "beefing up" my blog site.  Added some before and after pictures, a list of favorite podcasts, a list of websites I visit regularly, and my upcoming races.  Finding I really enjoy blogging here.  I blogged for several years on the Weight Watcher site (blog is still out there, same name as this one), but haven't I done anything there for several years.  Since I no longer use the WW E-Tools (have been counting calories for about three years), I felt I needed somewhere new to blog. 

Don't get me wrong, I still love and believe in WW.  Especially for people that have a lot of weight to lose or are starting fresh on their weight loss journey.  It's a great way to learn about portion control, finding healthy options, and a great way to be around like-minded people (both at the meetings and online).  I still, after 10+ years, attend the meetings every week.  Sometimes I hit two meetings a week because with a different leader and different members, you get a different spin on the same topic.  I have made a LOT of friends through WW and I love them for their support and understanding.  My only complaint (which I think I mentioned in my original post) is that they don't have good support for Lifetime Members (people at their goal weight).  Which, from a business point, I completely understand.  With WW, a Lifetime Member at goal (within 2 pound of their goal weight) can attend the meeting for free.  If a Lifetime Member is over their goal by 2 pounds, then they pay the weekly meeting fee (which here is $13 a week).  If everyone is at their goal, they don't make any money. Financially WW doesn't make money for members maintaining their weight, therefore, there is less support.  That is on a corporate level... locally, the leaders and staff do everything they can to support the Lifetime Members, especially since they themselves are Lifetime Members.

Back to my subject... the detox... Day 3 is going well and I don't anticipate any other challenges today.  I am going to keep positive and say that I will have a successful Day 3! 

Day 2 - 21 Day Sugar Detox

I survived day one and, so far, have made it through day 2 of not having any sugar.  Actually doing better than I thought I would, so that's a plus.

Probably my Clean Eating, SANE eating, and Paleo phases I have gone through have put me in the right mindset to do this challenge.  I'm sure if I had attempted this 3 or even 2 years ago, I wouldn't have made it through the morning of Day One.  I just wasn't ready to give up my favorite treats... or the sweetener in my morning tea. 

Tonight may be a challenge for me.  My husband goes out with friends to watch Monday Night Football, leaving me alone to do whatever.  And "whatever" usually involves a lot of what I call "closet binging."  Which means I eat a bunch of junk that I would not normally eat, then hide the evidence that I ate the junk.  I used to think I was only one who did this, but I mentioned my transgressions to a friend and she said she did the same thing.  Then I blogged about it on the Weight Watcher site and was amazed by how many people also did the "closet binging."  Some Monday nights I would stick to program, but some Mondays I would drive to the store to stock up on the no-no foods.  And good golly, look out if my husband went away for a few days!

So, tonight I will be very aware of what I'm eating and how much.  And I need to keep reminding myself that I can have all the veggies I want if I feel the need to snack.  I am so used to the sugary, salty, processed snacks that I actually forget I can have veggies.  Probably because I'm too busy wallowing about what I can't have, I don't think about what I can have.

Along with trying to avoid sugar, I'm trying to get back into my walking routine.  I usually walk 5 to 7 miles a days (and I have to work to get those miles in!), but in the last week or so my walking has all but stopped.  I have been averaging about 6,000 steps instead of hitting my goal of 14, 286 steps (weird daily goal, right? multiply that by 7 and it gets me 100,000 steps a week).  So yesterday, along with avoiding sugar, I made sure to make my step goal.  And I'm working on getting that again today.  If I walk on all three of my breaks at work, I can usually get very close to the goal and then the incidental walking I do after work gets me the rest of the steps.  I calculate my steps with my Fitbit, which I love.  I also love my Fitbit friends that check in with me (or nag me) when they see that I haven't been walking.  That definitely gives me motivation to get back to it.

My blogs seem to take a meandering route... probably because I haven't exactly figured out what I want to say, so tend to type whatever comes into mind.  But it is helping me, which is why I started it.  I wanted some place to write down my struggles, frustrations, triumphs and joys of my weight loss journey.  And if it helps, inspires or motivates someone along the way, then that's icing on the cake!  (Cake that I won't be eating... at least, not for another 19 1/2 days....)

Day One - 21 Day Sugar Detox

Today is Day One of the "21 Day Sugar Detox."  This is my first time attempting to go without sugar or sweeteners, and I have to say, it was going good until about 3pm.  Then the "just feel like eating" hit me.  And with limited options, I've been just about chewing my nails.  I generally chew gum, or have mints or sugar-free candies.  All of which are to be avoided on this detox. 

So, instead of giving in or giving up... or chewing my nails, I decided I should just blog about it. 

I have to say, this detox has definitely got me to reflecting on all the changes I have made in the last ten years.  When I first joined Weight Watchers (for the umpteenth time) in April of 2004, I told myself I would stick with it, regardless if I lost weight or gained weight, I would stick to it.  And I have.  For over 10 years.  But in that time, my eating habits have changed a lot.  But so slowly, I never felt like I was giving up something or depriving myself.

When I first started Weight Watchers I continued to eat the same foods I always had, just less of it.  I could get away with that because I had so much weight to lose.  I am 5 ft 2 and at the time I joined Weight Watchers, I weighed in at 252 pounds.  Which put me in the morbidly obese category.  As I lost weight, it became harder to continue eating the same foods and continue to lose weight.  Then I began finding foods I could swaps  I wasn't willing to give up anything, but I was willing to swap to regular potato chips for baked chips, 2% milk for skim milk, ice cream for frozen yogurt.  That got me through more of the weight loss.  As I got closer to goal, my weight loss stalled so I started getting more active by walking everyday.  And then eventually I started running.  I was still swapping out foods here and there, but for highly processed, less calorie foods.  But it worked, I got to goal.  I lost 113 pounds.

And then I realized something... I had no concept on how to maintain my weight.  And as much I loved Weight Watchers (and still do), they really don't offer a lot of support when members get to goal.  They give minimal information and then it's up the member to find their way.  Yes, now the meeting were free and I still had the support of the leaders, staff, and other members, but the "materials" were lacking.  So I floundered, I gained, I panicked.  I did not want to gain the weight back.  Not the weight that took me 6 years to lose (what can I say... I'm a slow learner!). 

So after struggling with maintaining my weight for 8 months, I blogged about it on the Weight Watcher site and one of the comments mentioned I should count calories instead of Points (the way Weight Watchers teaches it's members to keep track of their food intake).  She even suggested using the MyFitnessPal.com site to track.  So for several weeks I tracked both calories and points, didn't take me long to see that all the "free" fruits where causing issues, as was a lot of the low Points food.  They may have been low points, but they still had calories.  I switched from Points to counting calories.

And that worked!

.... for a awhile anyway.  Then I noticed I was still struggling with my weight.  I began tracking my calories eaten, calories burned, and sodium levels.  I became frustrated.  I would have weeks were I was over my calories and lose weight.  Weeks where I was at or under my calorie goal and gain weight.  I could find no rhyme or reason for the weight gain or loss. 

I felt like I was losing my mind.

Then I stumbled across the term "clean eating."  Sure, I had heard it before, but never really thought about what it meant.  I was at a point in my weight loss struggle, I was searching for answers.  I started reading, researching, listening podcasts.  And that caused a light bulb moment for me.  I was suddenly aware it wasn't just about the quantity of food I ate, but the quality of food.  And I instead of thinking, "Do I have the calories for this food?"  I should have been thinking, "Do I really need this food and how will it make me feel?"

I went through a phase of clean eating.  I gave up a lot of processed food and started eating more veggies and fruit.  I gave up diet coke (have been free of diet pop since April of 2013).  I felt great and lost the most weight I had since starting this weight loss journey.

That lasted until things in my life made me go back to the one bad habit I have yet to break, emotional eating.  I ate until I had gained back over 15 pounds.  Then once again I panicked.  And began the cycle of being "good" for awhile, losing weight, felt great, then something would happen, hit the emotional eating, gain weight, feel bad, panic, and the cycle would continue. 

Because my biggest fear it gain the 100+ pounds back, I'm always reading, researching and trying new things.  In the spring I because researching the Paleo way of eating (just a slight nudge over from the SANE eating described in Jonathan Bailor's book The Calorie Myth).  Paleo also interested my husband.  So with his support we began transitioning to a Paleo way of eating.  The first week of doing the Practical Paleo Fat Loss, I lost over 6 pounds.  Did great for about a month.... then....

Not sure what happened.  Suddenly I was eating more sugars and grains than I had eaten in months.  And I couldn't seem to stop.  I gained back all the weight I had lost and then some.  And the panic overwhelmed me yet again.

I knew I needed to do something.  I had to make a drastic change.  A friend had told me about the 21 Sugar Detox back in April and it sounded brutal.  Definitely something I wanted to avoid at all costs.  But now I needed it.  I have to break this cycle.  I have to break these sugar cravings.  And if this works, then it will be worth. 

And if it doesn't work... well, then I've spent 21 days eating healthy, whole, natural foods.  So really, no downside to this. 

But then again.... it's only day one...