However, as great as all that is, it's very easy for things to be misunderstood through these electronic formats. We can't see the person. We can't see if they are happy, sad, angry, or depressed. We can't hear the inflections in their tone when they speak to us to figure out their mood.
This past week the downfalls of keeping in touch electronically caused a friend to become concerned about me. And as much as I've tried to convince her I'm fine, I'm not sure she believes it yet. Why? Because we haven't seen each other in over a month. All our communication has been electronically. She can't see that I'm happy with my life. She can't hear my voice to know that nothing more is going on in my life than I have made some changes and made some choices to not partake in some activities.
I was supposed to do a half marathon in October with a friend, but after spending several days of intense walking at Walt Disney World, I realized that I probably shouldn't do it. I know I could complete it walking instead of running (I did that two years ago at the Salt Lake City Half Marathon), but I also know how sore I would be after I got done. I explained this to my friend and she understood. She hadn't done much running over the summer, plus that was a busy weekend for her, so we mutually agreed the race wasn't going to happen.
I missed the monthly scrapbook crop last weekend because it was the first weekend back after our week long vacation and I still had stuff I wanted to get done around the house. Besides, I haven't done much scrapboooking since the spring retreat since my Lego passion has taken over my life (passion, obsession, addiction... whatever). And even if I had made the commitment to go, which I hadn't, I wouldn't have gone anyway. The day of the crop I had a migraine so just standing upright was work.
Monday, I realized that Crossfit was just not my thing and after talking with Hubby, I decided I would take a break and try to find an activity that I would do instead.
By not doing these things, it drew concern from a friend that I was pulling away from people and it appeared something was going on in my life. That remark really threw me for a loop. I certainly didn't feel as though anything was wrong in my life. I didn't feel like I was pulling away from people. I had reasons for not doing those things.
The statement left me baffled so I asked my walking buddies if I seemed depressed or if I seemed to be pulling away from people. They laughed and said no... especially since I'm the one who instigates the walk and I tend to monopolize the conversation.
It was speaking with another friend that made me see where the issue may be. As I explained what my friend had said and explained why my friend might think that way, she nodded and said she understood why my friend might think that. If someone told her that I stopped doing the things she knew I loved doing, she would be concerned as well... But... she sees me everyday, she knows that I'm not depressed or acting any differently. I just had other things going on in my life.
Then it hit me why my friend was concerned for me. She hasn't seen me or talked with me (real time, not email or text or IM) in over a month. She couldn't see (or hear in my voice) that I am fine. Even though I had reasons for the things I did (or didn't do), she was concerned. She was seeing it as excuses to pull away from people. She wasn't able to see me, to realize the choices I made were for valid reasons and not excuses.The fix for this misunderstanding? I've invited her to come and take a walk with me. I'm sure once we talk and get caught up on our lives, she'll see I'm fine. I'm happy.
This isn't the first time I've had problems due to a misunderstanding via electronic communications and I doubt it will be the last. After all, it's what we do now. But maybe we should spend a bit more time with people and a little less with our electronics. Yes, this coming from the lady typing the blog post... :-)
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