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| My wonderful Hubby and I (Summer 2014) |
Thankfully Juli kept me encouraged in the afternoon and my Hubby continued the encouragement in the evening. It was hard. In the afternoon I was craving salty foods (chips, preferably) and after dinner I wanted chocolate. Didn't help that we did our weekly grocery shopping and Walmart loves to push the snacks at the check out line. I wasn't sure if my Hubby was helping me or torturing me when he picked up a package of pre-made brownies. No, he wasn't going to buy them, he read off the two first ingredients... sugar and vegetable oil. Then he asked how would feel after eating that. He was right. I would feel emotionally bad for giving in, but I would probably feel a little sick after not having that stuff for nearly two weeks.
I did have a few more on-plan snacks than I normally would in the evening, but in the scheme of things, I did pretty well.
Having people to count on and who will support me when I need it, is an wonderful feeling. I know a lot of people that say they don't get support from the people around them, but I have to wonder if they ask for help. Do they explain what they need in order to feel supported? Do they ask for help when they are teetering on the brink of giving in? Have they sought out like-minded people who understand what they are going through?
I am still learning to ask for support, to mention I'm struggling, to seek advice, or a shoulder to cry on. I don't always do that, and I always regret it when I don't. I have a lot of friends who would gladly tell me to step away from temptation (even have a couple of friends that would threaten to kick me in the butt if I didn't!).
Why don't I always ask for help? That's a good question, with many answers. I think for the most part, when I don't ask for help it's when I don't want to be helped. I want to give into the craving or to overeat. I want to wallow... and I want to wallow with food. If I ask for help, then I can't do that. Self-sabotage? Yep. Why do I do it? I haven't clue. When I do get into a funk of overeating, I know I shouldn't be doing it, feel unable to stop, and I'm ashamed. I feel like people will think less of me, that I've failed them. When I "confess my sins" later, my friends are understanding, because they have been there too.
For me to reach out to Juli and tell her I was feeling tempted was a big deal. Sure, I've done that before, but every time I make that effort it gets a little easier the next time to ask for help. My Hubby never told me that I couldn't give in and have a treat but framed it in such a way to remind me why I was doing this detox to begin with.
Even after 10 years on this journey to lose and maintain my weight, I am still learning about myself and my relationship with food. Everyday there is always something that reminds me I still have a lot more to learn.
But... day 13 was a success. I ate a bit more than I should have, but it was on-plan food. I didn't give in to comfort eating. I asked for help when I needed it. I persevered once again!
It's still very early on Day 14, so I can't even venture a guess how today will go. I will be busy most of the day, with my errands and events starting at 7:30 this morning but I wanted to make sure I got a blog up for the day. I orginally started to this blog with the hope of writing at least once a week. But the daily blogs have really helped me stay on track with the detox. Helps to give me perspective... and reminds me if I did well yesterday, I can do well today, too.
Hope everyone enjoys their weekend! And thanks to my friends who have continued to read my daily ramblings. I really appreciate all your love and support you give me and have given me over the years. I couldn't have come this far without you!
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