This is how I thought it would be...

I know, I know... you are sick of me talking about the 21 Day Sugar Detox and how awesomely wonderful it is, but I'm still in the "glow" of it's success.

The reason I'm bringing it up, yet again, is because I had a revelation yesterday.  This is how I thought I would feel once I got to goal.  I no longer track (write down every morsel of food I eat and then obsess about the calories in said food), I no longer worry about calories in/calories out, and I can dismiss movie theater popcorn and cookies without having the 10 minutes of internal dialogue on why I should or shouldn't eat it. 

When I got to goal, I was still struggling.  I was struggling to maintain my weight loss, struggling with food choices, obsessing about working out to cover my eating binges.  It wasn't until Hubby and I started eating Paleo and I stopped tracking, that I realized how obsessive I had been.

Now, in the "glow" of the detox, I feel like I finally have a glimpse of what life is supposed to be like at goal.  Yes, I still need to eat healthy, limit the processed foods and treats, still need to exercise and stay active, but the obsessiveness is gone.

The revelation began Sunday at the movie theater, when I had no inclination to buy popcorn.  On Monday, there were homemade pumpkins cookies in the next office, and my only thought was, "Boy, I bet those are good..." and then I went about my day without giving them a second thought.  I didn't have the internal dialogue about if I should, could, or would eat them.  I wish I could express what a big deal this is for me, but unless you've had the internal dialogues, you are probably as baffled by this revelation as my husband is. 

Will this feeling last?  This feeling of being in control and not eating a cookie because it's there, waiting to be eaten?  I really hope it lasts!  It's amazing to me.  After 6 years of weight loss and 4 years of struggling to keep the weight off, I now feel like I always thought I would.  In control.  Happy.  Confident. 

That's not to say I no longer have my moments.  I was tired yesterday so the snacking last night was more than I would have liked.  I stuck with Paleo approved snacks and had one of Juli's awesome chocolate chip cookies, but I didn't feel totally out of control.  When Hubby pointed out I should be done snacking, I drank a cup of water and remove myself from the kitchen.  One of these days I will learn to just put myself to bed instead of eating to stay awake!

Hubby and I leave tomorrow afternoon for a weekend trip out of town.  I am a bit nervous about traveling while keeping to a Paleo diet, and trying to keep my sugar intake to a minimum.  I know it can be done, but this is the first time since switching to Paleo that we will be gone for more than a day.  Away from the comforts and routines of home, it will be challenging.  In the past year I have gained quite a bit of weight while traveling, but this time I hoping to maintain. 

Positive thoughts.  I can do this!