At a crossroads with my weight...

Today is my weigh in day at Weight Watchers.  I was a little disappointed to see I had gained nearly a pound this week.  There are many reasons I could have gained, just a little harder to think of them this week.  Usually I can pinpoint something I did or ate that would cause the gain.  This week, it could have been the snacking in the evening, hormones, or the fact I didn't sleep well last night.   

Talking with Hubby after the weigh in, I realized that despite the weight gain, I still felt good.  I haven't allowed the sugar to creep back in my diet, I'm sticking to healthy snacks, and I just feel happier with my food choices and the way I'm eating.

This made me realize I may be at a crossroads when it comes to my weight. I am currently 6 to 11 pounds overweight (depending on which chart, graph, or random BMI that you look at), but I feel good, mentally and physically. So, I have to decide if I'm truly happy with the way things are now (the way I eat, the feel, the way I look) and want to maintain this weight or do I want to go through the process of trying to lose that weight.

I'm 7 pounds above the weight I would personally like to be, but I'm not sure counting calories, limiting my food intake and constantly obsessing is the way I want to live my life just to reach a certain number on the scale. I like the freedom that Paleo gives me. I eat healthy, flavorful, satisfying foods, I don't have to track calories, and it's teaching me to listen to my body for hunger cues, eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm satisfied.

Do I stay this weight or do I strive for something more?  I have weighed less, in fact, at my lowest weight I was down 11.2 pounds from where I am now.  I was never able to maintain that weight for more than a week.  I was able to maintain a certain weight (7 pounds lower than I am now) for about a year, but it was a lot of work.  I obsessed about the calories in/calories out, felt like I was depriving myself of the foods I enjoyed, and worked out 6 days a week (ran 3 days, strength training for 3 days).  Yes, I felt good physically, but mentally I was a mess.

First, I need to figure out if I'm truly happy at this weight.  I like the way I eat now.  I like the way I feel.  But I'm not sure I'm truly happy with the way I look.  This may require some soul-searching.  I may need to go back and look at pictures prior to my weight loss and look at some now.  My self image may be skewed.  I do know that some of the clothes I could fit into last winter, I am struggling to get into now.  So that doesn't help with the self image...

Second, I need to figure out if I can maintain this current weight and not let it creep up anymore than it has over the last couple of years.

Third, is this weight, this lifestyle, maintainable going forward.  I think I already know the answer to this one... Yes!  But only time will tell.  My diet, way of eating, has changed a lot over the years.  So who knows what the future holds.

I have a lot to think about, decisions to make, but I have time.  So, for the time being, I'm going to continue on as I have.  I will enjoy my Paleo lifestyle, enjoy my walks with friends, attempt to enjoy my training runs (I run, can't say I enjoy it all the time!), and be happy with the life I have at this moment.