Genius, foolish or stupid?

It's been another week... and other loss.  Was down nearly a pound, bringing my weight loss total to 14.4 pounds in 7 weeks.  

This week I have noticed a couple of bad habits starting slip back into my routine. I noticed I'm not eating as slowly as I was the first couple of weeks.  It's still slower than I used to eat, but quick enough I wasn't savoring or enjoying the food as I ate it.  Also, I wasn't putting my fork/spoon down between bits.  And I was more distracted while eating.  I had two evenings this week, I ate while watching TV.  Let me clarify, I was eating fruit, so not my normal "sit on the couch and eat in a vegged out state" type of food (i.e. chips, ice cream, etc).  And the first evening I did it, I was eating blueberries... one at a time... feeling the texture (mushy or firm) and really tasting it (tart or sweet).  Last night, I ate a combination of blackberries and blueberries and ate them so fast, I didn't pay attention to the texture or taste at all.  

These are are not a habits I want to go back to, so today I'm committed to eating slowly, mindfully, and with little to no distractions.  (And did I mention I have a family BBQ today? ...so this will test my resolve to get back to the healthy habits). 

This week I also had a several days where I didn't get my 10,000 steps a day.  Not the end of the world, but two days in a row I was more sedentary than active.  This is another habit I don't want to go back to.  Defeats the whole purpose of me getting back to a healthy (healthier) weight... so I can start running again.

Which brings me to the title of this blog post.  I decided to sign up for several virtual races.  I have never done a virtual race before.  I've seen them advertised in the past (much more so since Covid-19 shut down nearly every race out there), and had thought they might be a good motivator to get me back to at least walking.  I've looked through a bunch of them, but most seem really overpriced for a virtual race.  Then I got an email (not an ad on my Facebook wall) from the company that puts on the Salt Lake City Marathon.  That race (the 1/2 Marathon, not the full... let's be clear on that!) is the first 1/2 marathon I ever ran and became a yearly event for Hubby and I.  I ran it every year between 2010 and 2015 (and walked it one year due to my knee).  It's my goal for the Salt Lake City 1/2 marathon to be my "come back" race. So when the email came about a virtual race series, I was intrigued.  And then, on a whim, I signed up for three of the races.  A 5K, an 8K and and 10K.  I have until December 31st to complete all three races.  I figured, this would be my motivator to increase my daily walks from 1.5 miles to something more.  Was it expensive to sign up? Sort of, but not much more than in person races (and a hell of a lot less than Disney races!).  And I still get the swag and bling.  For you non-race people... swag is the "gifts" you get for signing up race, usually a T-shirt, sometimes a water bottle, or in the case of "beer" races, a glass or mug at the end filled with beer.  Bling is the medal you get when you complete a race (I have a bunch of those from my running days - see picture).  

Here's the thing, when I first signed up, I was feeling pretty smart.  A brilliant plan to get me to do more than my normal 30-minute walk everyday.  I mentioned I was doing these races to a friend, and she excitedly asked if I was running again.  I felt foolish when I said, no, I would be walking them. Granted, we're not as close as we used to be, so she may be aware of how much weight I've gained and/or what running would do to my body at this weight.  Still, I started to feel like maybe this wasn't such a bright idea after all.  Then I started working out a time frame to complete each race by slowly increasing my Sunday walk time.  I figured out that I could do the 5K at the end of September, the 8K the beginning of November and the 10K around the middle of December.  Which means I would be walking a 10K in December, in Montana. Iffy weather at best...  

Then I began to wonder if I was being a genius by setting these goals to motivate me, foolish for doing this at a walking pace, or just plain stupid for thinking I could do it at all at my current weight.

And guess what... I'm freaking brilliant!  

So what if I am going to "just walk" these races?  I'm going to do them, complete them, and feel good doing it!  So what if the weather doesn't cooperate?  We have a treadmill.  And lord knows, when I was running, I spent many Sundays during the winter running hours at time on that treadmill to keep up with running schedule. So what if I spent two hours walking a 10K on the treadmill?  It's still 6.2 miles whether I'm outside or inside.   

I am not going to allow my self-doubt talk me out of this.  This is my first step to getting back outside and moving.  Then when I get the weight off, I will be that much closer to my goal of starting to run again.  

I just need to take it one day at time and focus on the moment.  And at this moment, I am feeling like a genius.