Frustratingly tired

Yep, as unbelievable as it may be, I'm writing two blog posts within a week.  I figured I had better write now while I have a tad bit of energy because I have no idea how I will feel next week.  

Mister, my little buddy during my recovery

I start back to work full-time on Monday and I'm a little nervous about it.  I have been tired this week.  Frustratingly tired.  I'm afraid I will be tired all week and won't the energy to anything other go to work.


This week was good and bad.  I was able to work quite a bit, which was great.  It got me out and about, got to visit with my co-workers, and I felt like I was starting to get back into a normal workday routine.  

The bad was the fact that I was tired.  Every day.  All the time.  It's frustrating to me because other than tired (and a few aches and soreness), I feel fine.  I certainly don't feel like I had major surgery.  In my mind, I should be able to breeze through the day.  But that's not the case.  I continually feel like I could curl up into a little ball and sleep.  And that's pretty much what I did on Monday and Tuesday.  I worked a little over four hours on Monday and then went home and took a 90 minute nap.  On Tuesday I worked 5 hours, went home and slept for 2 hours.  Wednesday I worked 6 hours but only took a 30 minute nap.  And then the real sleep issues started.  I had trouble falling asleep Wednesday night and I woke up at 4:30 and could not get back to sleep, so I got up and read until 5:30.  I was a little tired Thursday, but not bad.  I worked 8 hours, had a nice dinner out with hubby and figured I would crash at bedtime.  Nope.  Took a long time to fall asleep and I was awake at 3:40 and out of bed at 4.  

Needless to say, I was dragging on Friday.  I went into the office, planning to work for 4 hours and the go home, but ended up working nearly 8 hours.  I tried nap when I got home,  but I just could not get to sleep.  

I did sleep a bit better last night but I was still awake at 4:30.  I made myself stay in bed for another hour so I had at least 8 hours of "resting" even if I wasn't asleep the whole time.

Still tired today, but not as bad as yesterday.  I still feel like I could take a nap at anytime but it's hard for me to get to sleep and stay asleep.  I don't know why.  I have a little soreness in the abdomen for the surgery that will occasionally wake me up if I sleep on my side or on my stomach, but not enough to keep me awake.  I'm not stressing about anything (that I'm consciously aware of) because work is going well, as is my family and home life.  I haven't changed my eating and I am moving during the day (not as much as I would like, but I'm not sitting all the time).  

The only thing that I have changed this week is I stopped taking ibuprofen PM at night.  I had been taking 2 tablets a night for about 2 1/2 weeks and felt I didn't really need it any more.  I only took one tablet on Wednesday night and haven't had any since.  It's possible that not taking it has caused issues with nighttime sleep if my body had gotten used to it.  I'm trying to be "drug free" for the next couple of days (no iburprofen, no ibuprofen PM, no Excedrin Migraine) and see if eliminating all that helps with my sleep.  

The other issue with being tired all the time, is the eating.  I eat when I'm tired (okay, I eat for any reason, but this week is because I'm tired).  I have been snacking a lot because of being tired and eating more than I should.  I think I did better this week than the previous couple of weeks, but I still found myself eating when I wasn't hungry.  

The topic at Weight Watchers this week seems especially relevant to my eating issues.  The topic deals with emotional eating or eating when you are not hungry.  I know that tired is a feeling, but once I looked past the feeling, I realized I was also eating because I was bored (had no energy to do anything) and because I was frustrated with being tired.  I want to be back to my old self and have the energy and stamina to go for walks, to workout, to get something done at home besides watch old episodes of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" on Netflix (I won't go into the issues of eating in front of the TV, which has been better since Monday, but still an issue).

In the meeting we discussed the chain of events that leads to emotional eating and actions to take to avoid doing it in the future.  It was such a good topic that after hearing it on Thursday, I went back for another meeting this morning.  Not sure how much of it has sunk in, but I am hoping it will give me pause in the coming week and maybe stop or even avoid emotional eating all together. 

My weigh in this week was okay.  I maintained my weight from Saturday to Thursday.  It's actually pretty good since Thursday morning I had my normal 32 oz of water when I got up, plus a cup of tea and banana.  If I hadn't done that, I may have been down a bit.  

This week will be a very challenging one for me.  My hubby is going out of town for 7 days.  I tend to do a lot of "closet" eating when he is gone.  I will eat things I shouldn't,  in embarrassingly large amounts.  I do have a plan in place.  I have menu worked out for the next week, have gone shopping, have a few "treats" so I won't feel the need to bring junk food into the house, and my friends know I am on my own and will be checking in with me.  

I know with my hubby gone, working full time, and fighting this endless tired feeling it is going to be hard.  But with a plan and support, I will persevere.  I always do.